Saying ‘No’

Dear boys,

Learning to say ‘no’ is perhaps one of the most powerful decision making skills you will ever use throughout your life.

One upon a time…

I was about to go out to buy lunch and I told you, Ian, to do the laundry (this means taking down the laundry, folding them and putting it away.) and you said ‘okay’. When I came back from my chores, I realised that you only did half the laundry and left out those that is still on the poles.

You went back to your work.

Of course I have to ask why was the laundry left half done, and you replied that your work is more pressing as there is deadline for you to complete it.

That is where I told you, just say ‘no.’

For this laundry case, saying yes, I expected you to complete everything and not leave it undone, and if you have more pressing matters to finish, just tell me that you cannot deal with the laundry at all instead of talking on my instructions; doing half of it and then run off to your main event, which is your work. It is important for you to tell me that, so that I don’t come back with the impression that you left the laundry tasks half done.

Home is the best place to say ‘no’

Your parents do appreciate you boys stepping up to do your stuff, and sometimes, trying to accommodate to our instructions, but as you both grow up, there will be things you guys need to do first, that takes precedence over our instructions; then tell us.

• Tell us that you cannot spare the time to do what we tell you to as you have other pressing tasks to complete.

• Tell us that you have started on something, and you want to complete it first, before you get to our stuff.

• Tell us that you need to focus on what you are doing and you cannot spare time to handle other things at the moment.

We can understand that you might have your priorities and you cannot attend to us first.

First things first

Just say ‘no’ makes sure you are on top of things, you are able to finish the things you started before another conflicting tasks hijack your time. There will always be thousand and one thing that will be screaming for your attention and you cannot possibly say ‘yes!’ to all that, learning to pick specific tasks is a life long learning skills and the sooner you start learning to say ‘no’ more than you say ‘yes’, it will help you better discern what to say ‘yes’ to. The quality of your decision making will improve and soon frivolous things will fall away and you an concentrate on the more important valuable tasks.

No isn’t negative

It is not a bad thing entirely to reject and walk away some tasks, and you don’t have to feel bad or obligated to every instructions you were given. Learn to do this at home and tell your often overbearing and obnoxious dad you have other things to do. Learn to take this pressure at home and not give in to doing your dad’s bidding, just because he tells you to, or you aim to please him by doing it.

Learn this skill well at home because you will have more overbearing and more obnoxious people demanding and stealing your time and attention. saying ‘no’ diplomatically and skillfully will help you weed out people who are just using you to better their opportunity. Being ‘no’ to negative people and purpose will pave the way for more positivity and good vibes.

Saying ‘No’ reserves your right to higher purpose

On the contrary, saying no in the right time and manner will tell people that you treasure your time and you will only spend it on tasks that is qualified and valuable. If you value your time, you will attract people who value your time, but you cannot reach these people if you constantly bomb yourself saying yes, just because it is not nice to say no.

Be discerning to the happenings in your life and watch closely for the right ‘yes’ comes along. It is better to be free, than to have your time taken up in the thick of thin things and completely missed out the moments your your lifetime, or worse, you are so engaged in small matters that you can only watch when the opportunity of your life time pass you by and you are too busy to catch it!

So say No when you are still in the midst of completing your own tasks.

Say No when you know you’ll just do it to please someone else

Say No when it will take up 25 hours of your time when you can only spare 24.