The “Bastard” Story

Dear Ian,

You have been acquainted to the word ‘Bastard”. No thanks to some kid in your school.

Well, this might be something we forget years from now, but it is one of those things that we would like to pen down.

You came home yesterday and asked your mum, “What is the meaning of Bastard?” Your mum, shocked to even hear you mention the word, told you in a reactive rebuke, it is of course, a ‘bad’ word. And she asked you if you’ve used it. And you obviously said ‘no’.

Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels — Photo by **RODNAE Productions** from **Pexels**

What we learned from you was that someone in school used the ‘B’ word on you during your basketball training, and it was, in your account, perhaps the senior boys, in Primary 4, 5 or 6. who scolded you and added the ‘B’ word.

On top of that, there is this kid who smacked you head with Colin’s from behind. And someone threw a ball at your face. Those rough and tough stuffs you can rough it out, tough it out.

The twist of the story came this morning, when Colin’s mum got a call from school from the teacher to tell her about what happened. Long story short. The teacher mentioned that you used the word ‘bastard’ in school. and Colin also said you did.

Your mum knew now, you used it, but you learned it from someone, and the teacher only caught you using it, but she is not aware that you learned it from someone else in the basketball lesson.

To set the records straight, your mum went to the teacher after class and clarified the matter. Not in your defense but to make sure that the facts are set right. You used the word, which you should aptly be punished. But you didn’t bring the word into the class, someone did, and you were caught using it. That doesn’t make you less ‘wrong’ but it matters that the teacher sees the situation from another angle.

So the point is this, Ian, you have to let us know what is going on in school, even if you are punished for some reason, or you did something wrong, please let us know. Because you could have been contextually right in the wrong content and vice versa.

Had we not set the records straight, you would have been branded the boy who brought the ‘bastard’ to school. We do not want such stereotypes on you, not like this.

Posted January 28, 2014

Your Parent’s 10th Wedding Anniversary

Dear Boys,

December 14th is a significant date for your parents for it is the day your parents got married. This year is our 10th year together, and indeed is has been quite a 3650 days!

I’ve booked a room with M hotel, the hotel in which we got married back in 2003. The room was a deluxe with a King size bed, I thought it could fit the 4 of us sleeping and it did! Well, we have to snuggle width of the bed.

It was a nice roomy room. And on top of the room, it was packaged with a one way paid trip into Sentosa. I told your mum it will be a “best of both worlds’. One was we can spend time in the hotel where we had our wedding dinner in, the other was Sentosa, where I proposed to your mother.

We ‘booked’ a London cab, since none of you boys has ever taken one. Unfortunately, the hotel wasn’t able to get us one through the phone booking, as all the cabs are taken. Luckily for us, the hotel called back moments later and informed us that there was one London cab just down at the lobby having dropped of a passenger. What luck! We rushed down for the cab and it was an unforgettable ride!

We headed to Palawan beach, for the rope bridge where your dad proposed to your mum. The weather wasn’t in our favour this time as it started pouring which caused us to make a dash across the bridge and headed to one of the 2 towers at the Southernmost Point of Continental Asia.

We soon found out that the rain was a blessing in disguise as it turned out that there was young couple on top of the tower, preparing their proposal! Well, the boyfriend got some friends to help him, and they tied some balloons around the wooden handrails, and the bride-to-be was supposed to pop the balloons to get the message. We chatted up with them and they loved Wayne so much that they get him to bring a balloon to the bride-to-be and pose with her as well.

We didn’t stay to find out the success of that proposal, as we have our own agenda to run, your mum and I, posed at the spot on the bridge, where I put the ring into her finger. It is still as memorable as if it was only yesterday.

We head back to the hotel and you boys had such a splash in the bath tub. We used up all the light sticks I bought and when the lights was turned off, the bath tub emits a funky glow of green, red, blue and yellow. It was such a splash! Well, that has to come to an end when I see your 弟弟 shivering from the cold water!

While you boys were in the bathtub, Shakir, the hotel’s duty manager came up with our Anniversary Cake! It was a delicious Tiramisu cake, made to perfection. It was fluffy, light and sweet. It was so good we polished off the 1 kg cake that night. The 哥哥 who is not a cake lover, predictably couldn’t stomach his share which is to our delight! Your mum and I totally relish the cake.

We went down to the ballroom on the second floor where your parents walked down the isle. There was another couple getting married, doing the very thing we did 10 years ago, so we didn’t wanna crash their party. We took some discreet photos, and it must have look odd, thinking of it now, since we were at the wedding reception area, the parents in bermudas and slippers and the kids in their PJs!

We ended the day with all four of us squeezing into the King size bed and woke up early for another day of fun before we pack up.

Too bad, M hotel is a ‘business hotel’, because the swimming pool is not kid friendly. the shallowest part is 0.9 m and the deepest 2m, too deep for 弟弟to have fun, so we end up hoarding the Jacuzzi, both of them alternating between them.

We ended our day checking out and it was a day of great fun and memories.

Posted December 17, 2013

My First Job

Dear Boys,

Your dad has a checkered past, not in a sleazy way but he left school when he was 15 years old because he wanted to learn Japanese language to become a tour guide and travel the world. Look at what the world has become of him!

All this means that I must have my parent’s support to leave school, and have money to go and learn Japanese language and then become a tour guide. There wasn’t much thought put into this and my parents wasn’t the best in parenting, so the gave in and I left school to study Japanese.

Or so I thought.

Along the way, my ‘businessman’ dad, hinted to me: “What happens if he is no longer able to support me?”

That was a sign that I need to find my own work, make my own money, and without a trace of resentment or angst, I looked around and I’m not sure how it happened but someone I knew (or most likely my parents) recommended a job for me to work as a sales staff in Changi Airport.

1991- Changi Airport Terminal 2

Working in the airport has a very special vibe to it, back then there was only 2 terminals, in fact, only one, since terminal 2 wasn’t officially opened yet, and the airport community was very small. I never forget the Airport Policeman’s name, Rudy, who said that I was probably the youngest person to ever work in the Departure hall, when I was at the Airport Police Station processing my Airport Security pass.

Sound Electric Centre

My employer was Sound Electric Centre (last I check ACRA, the company is still around! Incorporated 13 March 1975!), they have shops in Terminal 2 as well as Terminal 1, selling all sorts of audio, video, camera, electronic games, CD players, binoculars, you name it. They also used to have a shop in Far East Plaza down in Orchard Road, and in their hey days, they were quite reputable.

with Jun Jie, not sure what we were laughing about.

So I worked in Terminal 2 selling cameras and photographic equipment to customers, as a retail staff. This also started my life-long love for photography, albeit an expensive hobby to really keep up with. It wasn’t backbreaking work, but it taught me a lot about managing people, and how the working life is. There’s a lot of stories of our colleagues getting into physical scuffles over some childish antics (both got fired), theft of a large scale, love affair, legit and illicit and of course many life lessons along the way.

Selling camera also meant that there was a bit of technicalities involved, customers wants to know certain features and you will need to explain it to them, both as novice to even professionals. I learned how to handle Single Lens Reflex (SLRs) cameras, brands such as Nikon, Canon, defunct Rollei, Chinon, Minox, Yashica, expensive stuffs like Leica, Contax and other brands.

I also learned some sales tricks to boost our sales, such as selling camera cases when it actually came free with the camera, and selling additional batteries, or mark up film prices when we gave discounts on the camera.

Celebrities

Working in the restricted area of the Airport means that when the superstars came to town, we are the ones who have the first cut in seeing them, and welcoming them to Singapore, I remembered the whole place was so swoon over Alan Tam, Aaron Kwok when they came. I wasn’t a big fan of theirs but I heard they were swamped by Airport staff first before they were swamped by their fans in the general public area in the Arrival Hall.

Jon Bon Jovi

This guy, I remembered vividly serving him, I think it was an early weekend morning, and there wasn’t a crowd, and I read in the news they were in town for a 2 night exclusive concert, in and out just over the weekend. So I was just starting shop, and this Ang Moh with a wild shock of hair came in, and looked at some camera, I recognized him, but I served him as a customer, somehow not fazed or impressed by his presence.

He was very low-key, very human. The choice of camera was the bestest, most expensive one. He was one down to earth, pragmatic superstar. He was looking for a simple point-and-shoot, so I recommend him an Olympus Mju 2, one of the low range, dummy camera. He looked at it, liked it and bought it, whipping out his platinum Amex Charge card. Of course there was no question his card purchase would get approved. He didn’t want the box so I packed the camera up, thrown in a free roll of film and off he go.

He will always remain one of my fav celebrity whom I can say I’ve rubbed shoulders with and he has never made anyone felt a need to serve him in his superstar status. Just an awesome plain and simple human being.

The Queen came

I was there, too when Queen Elizabeth II came to Singapore, I think it was back in 1992/93. Back then, we knew that Changi Airport is one of the places in Singapore that is never closed. But they closed it for the Queen.

Security was really tight, but we still opened our shop as usual, I didn’t get a close glance at her, just a back view from about 25 m away. While they didn’t close the airport for the whole day, they did it enough for her to tour the place and soon it was back in business.

Changi Terminal 2 today

Due to Covid19, the Singapore Government took the opportunity to close Terminal 2 for a whole sale renovations. It was quite a nostalgic sight and feeling for me to walk the deserted grounds, the usually bright and welcoming Airport Hall, now dark cavernous and empty.

I’m sure by the time COVID 19 becomes a distant memory, Changi Airport Terminal 2 will be up and running even better than before.

How Relationships Breaks Apart

Dear Boys,

Last weekend I happened to ‘walk’ into one of those moments where you both were arguing about something. I asked tersely: ” What is going on?!” There tension in the air and 弟弟 is looking the way he looked downcast when there is certain accusations flying around, and the 哥哥 has a hard tone, and walked out, telling me to ask the 弟弟 instead.

I did and of course, I will not get the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, all I got from Wayne was snippets of “I said something, and kor kor is not happy with what I said and…”

It’s typical for anyone, not just you, Wayne to hide the truth about what has actually happened, especially when the person in question is the perpetrator.

I called Ian in and hears from him: “Wayne was saying that he sometimes feels like a dog and simply follows his feelings and moods.” ” I cannot take it anymore and so I told him off.”

Pushing People Away

Sometimes the reality is too much for us to handle, we can get overwhelmed and suddenly we say ‘Enough is Enough!’ Negativity can be infectious, and brings the collective mood down, granted that 弟弟 says such a downer statement on 哥哥’s birthday, can add to rain to the parade.

So we start to push people away in a bid to protect and collect what little optimism we got left, or we got so hung up and focused in our work, we shove people away, people who needed our help. It happens when resources is scarce and we are left fighting for ourselves. We often want to find a hole, jump in and disappear from the world’s problem. We want to tell people:

“GO AWAY!” “LEAVE ME ALONE!” “HAVEN’T I GOT ENOUGH PROBLEMS ALREADY?!”

The Consequences of Pushing 弟弟 Away

The issue here is, that person you pushed away, is your 弟弟, he confides in you, and you only. Everyday when he comes home earlier than you (more often than not), he will look out of the window, constantly waiting and eager for you to come home. You are the only one he share little nonsense with, the inside brothers jokes, chit chats, and things as a parent wouldn’t understand.

He will confide in you, good and bad, and sometimes the bad can be a little irritating, I know 弟弟 is still young and learning, and in the process he can be whiny and clingy, emotional and self-depreciating. So if he don’t confides in you, who else can he go to? Me, or your mum? Sure, but we have a different vibe, we are his parents, dad and mum, you are his brother. It is not the same talking to us, talking to you.

Don’t Tit for Tat

Not forgetting that you will confide in him sometimes during your times of need and share your brotherly bonding time, and sure enough, you wouldn’t want him to push you away and say he have enough of your Bulls**t and negativity?

You are his only brother and if he don’t confide in you, would you he rather confide in his friends and end up joining teen gang because they appear to care more about him than you do?

Pushing him away now may look insignificant, but doing this often enough to form a habitual response, will build a rift so far apart in future, that you will eventually forget what you guys are fighting about, and just simply fight because that’s all the strong emotional response you both can remember. Small cracks sinks big ships.

I know because that’s what happened between my elder brother and me.

Properly Expressing Yourself

Ian, you are just coming 16, you cannot solve the world’s problem, you cannot shoulder your 弟弟’s problem; you don’t have to, we are around, you can refer your little brother to us, if you are up to your neck with issues. Instead of blowing up and shoo your brother away, and leaving him to fend for himself, and deal with his own sh**ty emotions, you can ask him to come to us.

We are your parents, and we have been there, done that, and here to help you with your problems, escalate to us and we can come together with a solution. There is nothing we cannot figure out as a family. So instead of saying:

“I don’t want to deal with your problems, you negative, whiny little boy!”

try saying

“Frankly, I’m kinda not in the mood to handle this, I think we can talk to papa or mummy, and maybe they can help you.”

“I’m kinda not able to take in what you are feeling now, because I’m swamped myself, can I come back to you when I am better?”

As you grow up, you will need to learn how to use such coping phrases to help you stave off certain onslaught of strong emotions, we cannot deal with everything and anything that comes our way so learning to better express ourselves can help people understand that we have limitations too.

Lean on each other

Unfortunately, the elder brother is the elder brother, Ian, there is no way around it, you will have to have the strength to save your little brother’s ass again and again, never failing him. He will always look up to you as the elder brother he can depend on and emulate. Ian, you become a leader because you are in a place to be one, Wayne you will become a leader because you learn from your elder brother how to be one.

So learn to lean on each other, I will be tell the both of you again and again, and there will be times where both of you have nothing left except each other, so instead of pushing each other, with ignorance, hate and defensiveness, hold on to each other and your world will be all right.

No off-days

Garfield hate Mondays, just like many of us. and when we reach TGIF, we all know what that means.

We all also know what it means when the holidays are here, birthdays, anniversaries, and all those special days.

Erm, wait…

Excellence and quality has no desire for a holiday. If you are good, you are good 365/24/7. There is simply no day offs for quality. If you think your life suck and you want the weekend to come quickly so that you can escape the weekday doldrums, then well, you are in for a jolly fool of a time.

I used to think that there is a ‘plateau effect’ in our learning curve. Sometimes when I was training, I will hit this feeling of flat-line, as if my learning is not getting anywhere. Or things seem to be turning into ‘SOS’, Same Old Shit’ mentality.

There is no such thing as a plateau, flat line or whatever you call that. There is simply no off-days, if you are good, you will continue to be good, whether you like it or not. If you are bad, and you continue to train diligently, you will become good, at something you used to be bad at.

Hell, even if you are piss poor lousy with something, there is no off-days too! So since there is no off-days whatsoever, good or bad, keep going at it, like it or not. do not give yourself, the delusion of an ‘off-day’. No one has a holiday, even when you are on a holiday, you will continue to do what you are doing, your life never takes a day off. you will continue to carry yourself to wherever you are going, wherever you are heading to, so don’t lie to yourself, and give yourself a break. there is no such thing.

You only rest, truly rest, when you are dead. As long as you are alive, continue to live, work on your bad, better your good.

Posted on November 13, 2012

病从口入，祸从口出

Dear Boys,

If there is any life skills that is pertinent and you have to constantly learn and relearn, this is it.

病从口入，祸从口出

It means that illness goes in from the mouth, trouble comes out from the mouth, literally speaking.

Kids says the Darndest Things

Back in the late nineties, there’s this very popular American variety show called Kids Say the Darndest Things. This was hosted by Bill Cosby, who is convicted of sex offences and child abuse offences.

In the show, people watch it for a good laugh over some of the things the kids says, through their naivety, innocence and often out of context statements. It was a very popular show because kids often do say the darndest things and their response are quite comedic and can evoke a sense of awe, and ga-ga by the adults.

These kids, says it not knowing the kind of context as well as the consequences of their saying. I mean who can blame them? People are not hurt by what these kids said, they are after all, kids right?

1998 to 2021

Let’s say that back in the first season in 1998, a kid in that era filmed for the show at say…6 years old, fast forward 23 years, that cute kid who said that darndest thing is now… 29 years old. Would this 29 year old person, saying the same darn thing, have the same comedic effect? Would it even be considered ‘cute’? Probably cringey at best!

What you say have Consequences

As you both grow up, the line for you both to say the ‘darndest things’ and get away with a simple laugh, is thinning. As kiddos, you can say anything and we can understand that it is quite out of immaturity, and forgivable. Lies you both tell, are also understandably accept, and corrected. We try to talk to both of you about how the reality doesn’t correspond with your version of truth. At a young age, and lacking cognitive maturity, coupled with a narrow range of vocabulary to express yourself, you might say a certain things but don’t mean it the way you say it. We know, it’s a kid thing.

Things are going to be different as you grow up; you simply cannot go around cracking a wise-ass joke as expect to get away with it. There will be consequences when your version of your truth vary widely from reality or societal norms. Always think before you say anything, as much as it is practicable, as things you say can be taken out of context and hijacked for the wrong arguments and reasons, and it will be too late for you to correct what you say and goes ‘I mean, I mean…’.

One prime example, try to jokingly say ‘bomb’ in an airplane, that wouldn’t have been a very ‘ha ha ha’ moment.

Badge Lady and The Glynn

These 2 individuals are amongst the many that has been publicly and socially crucified for their lack of ability to understand how the norm at large is demanding a homogeneous response to a global pandemic. They say things that made them famous for the wrong reasons and of course, getting into the wrong side of the law. Of course in their own world, and perhaps in another universe, they’d be kings, but unfortunately, back down on planet Earth, what they did are criminal, no ifs and buts about it, and there is no way for them to explain what they did under any and all reasonable circumstances.

Let’s not go into the specifics about what they did, but these 2 are examples about what you say and/or do can get you into serious trouble, and in a COVID-19 situation, the virus certainly does enter your body through… your facial orifices, ala 病从口入.

Me against the World

Sure, if you would like to make a statement for yourself and go against the world because you are empowered to carry out an act, and expression. You feel that you have what it takes to change the world, don’t let me or anyone stop you. That is the learning point, the skill and art of getting things done your way without causing too much trouble. There is a constructive way to change the world and there is a destructive way, you decide what kind of impact you want to have on the world.

You want to change the world. rock the boat, people will be unhappy with you, troubles will find you, and you will face difficulties, and insurmountable challenges. These are inevitable part and parcel of being a pioneer, an innovator, an original. But please don’t go out of your way to antagonize people, say things to make people unhappy in the spur of the moment. Once you carelessly say something and is heard, and hurt someone, there s no taking it back.

Always make a point to think through what you want to say, and when you are not sure, always make a note to admit what you don’t know. This is where the skill and art which we will take our lifetime to master.

The Truth is out there

Singapore is gripped by elections fever. There is so much being said and said about the sayings that it can get annoying at times. Thankfully, the politicians here are still rather civil and stick with war of words, verbal accusations, telling lies after lies, there are no political assassinations, overt political blackmails, and other more severe and darker forms of politics.

There is one thing that is going on though, the ‘Truth’. Well, it’s commonly known that truth is very different from facts. and what politicians like to do is merge the two so as to make facts and truths favors them more than it favors their opponent.

We, the general public, the very folks these politicians are trying to romance will be swayed here, there everywhere, by the truths and facts as spoken by politicians. Well, my personal opinion is that there is no honest politicians there as much as there are still Tasmanian Tigers roaming around in Tasmania.

So it interests me by certain comments and remarks posted in Facebook or some other public domain by politicians and common folks alike, cussing or clamoring the deeds and duties done and discharged for and by politicians. Politics is a dirty and complex domain, and it takes more than us layperson to understand and make sense of the underlying agendas these politicians have. Surely it takes more than fervent and fiery rhetoric for a person to fully understand the effects of politics on the general public.

Admittedly I am politically ‘atheistic’, if I may borrow the term, as I know that politics are well out of reach of my grey matter. All my training and orientations align me to the path of least resistance. the easiest of the easy way out. I can never work hard for the people, and I can never get people to vote for me, I’m not smart, neither am I handsome, so I can never win the popularity race to begin with. My policies and ideals mattered only to me and me alone. I am out to make my own life good, irrespective of the political climate. if the policy works against me, I’d find another way around it, or find another method. So it doesn’t matter who I vote for, I vote for my own effectiveness and ingenuity. The choice I make is the true spirit of democracy, if there is ever such a thing.

Plainly, politicians are nothing more than glorified washing machine sales people, and liars to the boot, it doesn’t matter which ‘brand’ they peddle, as long as they cannot get to the truths, there are a level of lying applied. I am as good a liar as any, so I don’t need to lie to myself by voting for a bunch of liars.

More fundamentally, I know for sure that the truths and facts spoken are much much more complex than what is being ‘sold’ by these politicians. Their policies will benefit no one else other than themselves, first, then whoever is left standing, thereafter. Everyone and everywhere works like that. And politics is the art of lying at its best.

Posted on April 26, 2011

The Human Race is good for nothing!

Dear boys,

Think about it, What is a single human being good for? What is the human race good for?

We all live such purposeful lives and we as your parents train you, educate you and hope that you boys can be of some use.

Some use for what? To do what?

Taking a quote from Myanmar Leader Aung San Suu Kyi when she visited Singapore 24 September 2013:

_{Speaking to reporters at a press conference later in the evening, Ms Suu Kyi recounted her visit to ITE College East, where she made a remark to Singapore officials that “education in Singapore, as in many other countries, seems to be workforce oriented”.}
_{“That made me think … what is the purpose of a workforce … of work … of material wealth? Is that the ultimate aim of human beings, is that what we all want? In a sense, I want to probe more into successes of Singapore and to find out what we can achieve beyond that.”}
_{(Source: http://www.todayonline.com/singapore/myanmar-should-not-seek-recreate-spores-policies)}

Really?

What is all these education for? What is our purpose? To be successful? To do something? To do what? A whole chunk of the human races has evolved and we are no closer to answering the most basic question. “Who am I?” Education didn’t help, sure as hell the Theory of Relativity didn’t do squat to answer that question. (perhaps, you dad is being too naïve to have an answer to that part.)

And all that we do, is in hope that we can hedge our pittance of a life against Death.

I had a chat with Steven and we talked about business and life. There is always a thing to be done in life, there is always some form of time, and if you die before you are supposed to do what you are supposed to do, then… that’s it!

No one really knows what is a human being good for, and perhaps those who knew, only learned about it on their last twitch of life. We are, really, really never going to find out what we are here for, No one knows and no one will ever find out. The purpose of life.

So can we make something positive out of life? Sure, but does it matter?

Can we face the challenges in life with gusto, sure? Then when Death, the great leveler comes, what makes of our effort?

I wish I could give you a short and sweet answer, but if I did, I’d probably be lying, because honest to goodness, you dad, is still struggling in life. Sometimes, he does gets a brief epiphany of insight, but more often than not, he is kind of wasting his life away.

But if life is not meant to be wasted away, then what is, life, good for? Go figure it out, boys.

Posted October 25, 2013

Winning and losing is not competition

We have a competitive nature, it forms the basis of our existence, we see competition in all aspects of life. Even in the animal kingdom, some animals have to compete for the alpha male position, and mate with the best female member of the tribe.

Competition helps us not only survive but thrive. When we compete in with a constructive spirit, we develop ourselves, we make things better for others. When we challenge status quo, and succeed, we inspire others to make the impossible, possible. We set a higher standards for ourselves so that others can emulate. Well, that isn’t so bad, when we look at the spirit of competitiveness in a positive manner.

When we add in an element of winning, that changes the entire equation, and puts the ego in charge. You see, life is about competition, winning, and the other poor impostor, losing, isn’t. In life there is no losing, nor winning. There is only the strive to exist, for some to be the best they can be. Which is still fine.

When you pit one human being against another, and determine, who wins and loses. Then that violates the spirit of competitiveness. All human beings are equal, like no other, and because each of us is unique, we can never be better than anyone else other than us. We can only be better than ourselves.

“No one wins, no one loses. We all compete and we all become better.”

To say that there are no competition in Aikido, would have taken things a little bit out of context, there are still some level of competition, but there are also a lot of compassion. We see each of us in Aikido as strugglers. I see my junior belt students struggle, I can understand that and will try to help them the best I can, so that they can be a better person tomorrow, so that they can compete against themselves, and become a better person. The junior belts are not competing against me to win something, and when they get the better of me, I didn’t lose anything, we are all humans and we have slip ups, and to put a win/lose duality into competition, that would have skewed the reality.

This is compassionate competition. We push ourselves to be a person better tomorrow, than the person today. I help them, and they help me, we all help each other compete, and sometimes, we offer an external level of competition, just to help our fellow Aikidoka get out of their own shell, out of their own comfort zone. No one wins, no one loses. We all compete and we all become better.

This is the true meaning and strive of competition, not to win, not to gain medals and look good being a champion. We become our own champion, and held our strife as the ultimate trophy. We struggle, fall down, get up and fall down, this is life’s journey, not to win any thing, just to compete and make ourselves proud of who we are, a race of competitors, striving to make sure we become the best human being ever.

Posted on September 23, 2015

Class Chit Chat

Before I start any class, I made a point to gather the students and did some pep talk. Well, you can call it a chit chat, a nag, or telling tales and stories. Perhaps it is public speaking practice for me.

I think as an ‘evergreen’ class, NUS Aikido will constantly face a challenge of a doctrine bleed. Which means certain practices and culture in the class will leave when the NUS student graduate and start their new life as working professionals. Very few will return to NUS to continue training and uphold the tradition, it is a fact. They will take away the experiences and practices, replaced with another batch of freshmen. So the reality it someone has to constantly remind them of Aikido etiquette and culture. Why we do this and that, and the dos and don’ts in the dojo.

So those newbies come with no idea how the Japanese conducts a martial arts class, so I pep talked them, doing some Corporate Communications perhaps, some Public Relations, making sure that Aikido’s brand values and propositions is constantly being upheld. That’s business jargon anyway.

More importantly, some of them have never met and only beginning to know Harry sensei, whereas I’ve been training with him for 2 decades. Like all human beings, he has his idiosyncrasies and there will be potential misunderstanding. It’s no secret that I am immensely proud to train under him and I constantly remind the student the privilege to receive Harry sensei’s teaching. And we must never take the class for granted, and do sloppy techniques, in doing so patronize him and pissing him off. I’ve said our class is ‘limited edition’, only a small group in Ceylon Sports Club and then there is NUS Aikido. Harry sensei is very well respected regionally and when I tell other people I train with Harry sensei, I always get a certain level of response as if there is an expectation on me to perform and conduct myself in a level reflecting that I’m Harry sensei’s student. I make sure that the new student knows that. Well, that is a heck of a lot of salesmanship there!

Also I explained to the newbies what Aikido is and is not, in my personal opinion, and this is to manage their expectations. I share with them why I joined, I was drawn into it by the Steven Seagal hype, many of the boys and girls don’t even know who Steven Seagal is anymore. I guide them into preparing them what to expect in class, not so much talking more doing, and certain unspoken rules and cultures.

Honestly, I’m not sure if my chit chat is appreciated or not, frankly I’m more bothered that if no one does it, the Aikido in NUS will lose the Aikido spirit, I can see that many of the students take Aikido class as another ‘class’ and other ‘lecture’ Yes, NUS Aikido is conducted in a University campus but in no way Aikido is another ‘lecture’. There are certain practices I hope to see discontinued when the opportunity arises. We need make sure that when an NUS Aikidoka visit other Aikido dojos, they carry with them basic courtesy and etiquette to help them forge ties and build friendship and most importantly, not bring disgrace to Harry sensei!

Posted on September 14, 2015

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