Family Finance Manager

money

Dear Boys,

Call me gullible, but I learned from my friend Steven to let The Wife handle the finance. Back then I was just dating your mum, and very early during the relationship, I handed my bank account pass book to my then girlfriend, one evening at her parents’ place. She was surprised, I think pleasantly, it probably demonstrated to her that I am serious about the two of us getting together for the long haul.

Wife =  Finance Manager

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Steve let his wife, Kat handles all the money stuff. He said as long as there is $$$ in his wallet, he is okay. All his earnings, he hand to his wife, who does the numbers. From a very early age, I have never question that logic and took it wholeheartedly.

Perhaps it is because I don’t really have a template for family finances. I never understood how my parents does their finances, as my dad was a businessman and my mum, The Housewife. I suspect that my dad does everything, and to be honest, he is not the best person to handle money.

So when I see that Steve’s approach seem to keep him wealthy, in this case monetary sense, so it simply occur to me that perhaps letting the wife does the money is a really good idea.

Money = Trust

The logic for me back then, dating your mum, was also simple. I wasn’t earning that much, and she can see that she is really dating a poor bloke. There are 2 rationale;

  1. She will either see my pathetic bank account and leave for a richer boy.
  2. She will take all my money and leave for a richer boy

She didn’t, in fact trusting her with my finances serves as one of the bedrock for our relationship.

Your money = my money 

Back in those days where we were DINKies (Dual Income No Kids), there were never issues over who has who’s money, she gets her paycheck, I get mine, we all put it into a joint account and see all of our monies there.

We do not keep separate accounts as everything is put into one. I think it is a matter of the proverbial wife-husband joke “Your money is my money, my money is my money.”

But she has never put a limit on my spending, she has at times where finances were a little tight, told me to stinge, but this husband has never found himself short of cash.

Before I met your mum

My finances was basically hand to mouth, period. I have bills to pay, as well as school fees. So whatever I get, it will be used up pretty quickly. So it was certainly a good thing for me to hand my money over to your mum, as she has a better sense of things and that help me and of course the family, a lot.

The Guardian

Handling money is not something I would like to do, I can do I, but it is better to let the better person handle it; your mum.

Right now, as we are on a single income policy, I just focus on working to bring in the money, she focus on keeping and using the money I bring in.

There were some time in our past, where during my career transition, money was a bit short, and there was a deficit. I wasn’t earning enough to make ends meet. And over time, it eats into our savings and she kept all these from me. Part of our savings was a substantial severance package from her previous work, and most of that money, (her money to be specific) she put into the family. She kept all that from me, so that I don’t get stressed up and worried over the finances. I only learned about that recently, and I am forever indebted to her for keeping the family first. Using her money for the family.

Different Strokes for Different Folks

I’m not too sure how you boys will handle your family finances when you start your own family. There are many models out there. There is really no science to it. The most important thing to remember is that in a marriage, it is the ‘marriage first’, not longer Husband and/or Wife, and certainly not a case of my money/ your money.

Even if you have a spouse who earns more than you, don’t let your ego get in the way, in a marriage, it is a team thing, and always let the best person handle the task, if it happens to be you handling the finance the first order of the day is to make sure the family has some savings, make an ‘Us account’, be fully transparent. Try not to hide secret funds, from each other, unless you are saving some money to buy her a nice surprise.

 

 

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Aikido can save your life

Dear Boys,

Your dad’s Aikido skills wasn’t meant for fighting, like what Harry sensei said recently, how often are we expected to get into a fight and actually use our skills?

And by the way, martial arts, is not fighting and fighting is certainly not martial arts.

So what is it good for?

Life saver scene one.

This happen when I was still quite new into Aikido, because I can remember it happened during my younger years riding mountain bikes. Back then I was still staying at Woodlands, and too poor to buy a helmet, and yet I want to go mountain biking.

picture taken off google, this is the exact Marin I had, same colour even!

I’m not sure what was the occasion, but it I was riding my Marin Bobcat Trail, and I was daring myself to ride as close to the pillars around the Woodlands MRT area. So as I pass each pillar, I try to go closer and closer, and true enough, I struck the second last pillar.

My right handle bar went too close to the pillar, and knock into it, knocking me off my bike.

Obviously I fell and thanks to my Aikido, I did a backward roll and got up immediately. There wasn’t any thought process made, it was instinctive and the body just took over. I rolled and got up, unscathed. I picked up the bike hopped on it and continue riding.

Life saver scene two.

Yamaha-RZ_125LC-1986.jpg
I rode a bike like this in my younger days the plate as Y7339X!

This was a little more serious, than the first, as I was on my motorcycle. I remembered riding down down Stamford Road one evening and the right lane, for whatever reason, was clear, I wasn’t travelling fast, as it was city riding, there is no way to go fast.

So one car, seeing that the right lane is free, decided to turn, perhaps he checked his blind spot or he didn’t, he hit me, from the left.

Things happened so fast, all I did when I saw was to beep my feeble horn, and it was already too late. Since the impact came from the left, I was thrown to the right. I did a roll, not one of those forward Aikido rolls, it was a sausage roll, and I got up.

The driver, a Japanese man got out, he was stunned, shocked beyond words. His face was drained white, hands shaking, speechless. Instead of him asking me, I asked him: “Are you alright?” Twice.

The lady in the car, was more composed. Seeing that there is nothing with me, except for my broken clutch handle, there was really no need for any police to be involve, I was unscathed (so I thought) I took a S$50 (can’t remembered if I asked for it or he gave to me) so that I can repair the little damage he did to my bike.

We parted ways, he drove off. I had a hard time operating my bike as the clutch handle was broken, but I could still manage.

Applied aikido

So every time I go to class, I am qualified to say that the best technique in Aikido to learn is rolling. Learn to roll properly, and protect the most important jewel of the human anatomy, the head, not that head but the one that sits between your shoulders!

What is Aikido?

It is always good to revisit this question, no matter how long you’ve been in practise. As a matter of fact, the long you practice, the more relevant this question is.

Is Aikido peaceful? No.

Is Aikido harmonious? Nope, sorry.

Is Aikido effective? Might as well ask, how ineffective is Aikido?

Aikido, is nothing more than 6 letters in the English alphabet put together, to sound like something.

Aikido is nothing more than putting up the white attire, and for some black pleated flare pants.

Aikido is what you find on YouTube, and the videos on ‘How cast’.

Aikido is what our mind try to make sense of.

Aikido is none of that.

All that man, try to make sense of Aikido, fails, utterly fails because Aikido is way beyond that, that is to say Aikido is like the universe, is like an insult, as a matter of choice the former or the latter.

So the next time you try to ask what Aikido is, please do not forget to give yourself one tight slap, or two for good measure!

It is always good to revisit this question, no matter how long you’ve been in practise. As a matter of fact, the long you practice, the more relevant this question is.

Is Aikido peaceful? No.

Is Aikido harmonious? Nope, sorry.

Is Aikido effective? Might as well ask, how ineffective is Aikido?

Aikido, is nothing more than 6 letters in the English alphabet put together, to sound like something.

Aikido is nothing more than putting up the white attire, and for some black pleated flare pants.

Aikido is what you find on YouTube, and the videos on ‘How cast’.

Aikido is what our mind try to make sense of.

Aikido is none of that.

All that man, try to make sense of Aikido, fails, utterly fails because Aikido is way beyond that, that is to say Aikido is like the universe, is like an insult, as a matter of choice the former or the latter.

So the next time you try to ask what Aikido is, please do not forget to give yourself one tight slap, or two for good measure!

Last posted: Mar 24, 2014

Aikido and longevity

Aikido and longevity

Last Tuesday evening Harry sensei said, (practising) Aikido does not make you live longer, you just die healthier. And he pointed up, implying when you go is entirely decided ‘up there’. While I am not a God kind of person, it kind of rang true.

It ties in lately that I had a brief thought on why O sensei died of cance? Of course it is not fair for me to say that if he is so in sync with the universe, he ought to be able to live longer, well, maybe become immortal! That kind of thought qualifies me to be a Hindsight Expert.

Harry sensei was right, He asked the class of young NUS student, who has gone to a funeral? And looked into the coffin? Did the person who died, has a smile on the face? Or the person died plagues with ill health and misery? If you die of ill health and misery, then that is not a very nice way to die. It is better to die when you are healthy, and with a smile on your face.

That is an opinion you cannot argue with.

Last Tuesday evening Harry sensei said, (practising) Aikido does not make you live longer, you just die healthier. And he pointed up, implying when you go is entirely decided ‘up there’. While I am not a God kind of person, it kind of rang true.

It ties in lately that I had a brief thought on why O sensei died of cancer? Of course it is not fair for me to say that if he is so in sync with the universe, he ought to be able to live longer, well, maybe become immortal! That kind of thought qualifies me to be a Hindsight Expert.

Harry sensei was right, He asked the class of young NUS student, who has gone to a funeral? And looked into the coffin? Did the person who died, has a smile on the face? Or the person died plagues with ill health and misery? If you die of ill health and misery, then that is not a very nice way to die. It is better to die when you are healthy, and with a smile on your face.

That is an opinion you cannot argue with.

Last posted on  Nov 27, 2014