This is for The Bully

bully

Dear Bully,

You picked on my friend’s son and hit him so hard you send him to the hospital.

There are labels out there, and I would like to think that the child you hit is the ‘victim‘.

But he is not.

You are.

You see, you have physically hurt him, and we know that, we can heal him, with love, kindness, and all the asset at our society’s disposal. What about you?

Who is going to heal the hurt you have inflicted on yourself?

While it is very tempting to tell your ‘victim‘ that he should have, could have, would have done this and that, but I know you attacked him without provoke, you didn’t give him a chance for defence. I could also say that it wasn’t a ‘fair’ fight, which it actually isn’t but hey, there are no ‘Rules of Engagement’ in a school bus where you assaulted the boy.

We would like to do something nasty to you, in retaliation for what you did. It’s human nature, you hurt me, I would like to hurt you bad.

But everything and everybody looks like a freaking expert on hindsight, and we all know there is no flaw in afterthought.

We also know we live in a civil society, where such acts of violence, is not tolerated. we will not reciprocate in kind. An eye for an eye, makes everybody blind, with hatred. We are better than that, we are better than you.

But you did what you did and now we have to live with the reality and difficult situation you created for us.

You hurt my friend’s kid, not my kid. But I feel for my friend, as a parent. She is a great mum, and I share with her all the energy we can muster to protect our children from harm and danger, 24/7/365. You attacking her child, robbed her of her ability to protect her child. We are angry because we are put in a powerless state, by your malicious actions. We hate to face the reality that we are ineffective in shielding our children from the likes of you in society. We couldn’t protect our child from harm. Your actions forced us to come face to face with that reality. It sucks.

But we are strong, resilient and we want the best for our child. We do not want him to become like you, a Bully. But if we are not careful with ourselves, he might turn into a delinquent like you. So we must rise to the challenge, pick up the pieces after that, and heal our child from the hurt you inflicted. It is nothing much we can do, because as parents, we wouldn’t want you to face a bully like yourself, and end up in a hospital bed.

I rally with my friend, she is a strong mother, a wonderful parent, she well do well for her child. But what about your parents? The anguish you have caused with your wanton reputation? Every ‘victim‘ you add to your wrath, hurts your parents more than anybody else in the world. And when we are faced with a recalcitrant like yourself, we are faced with a harder reality than those whom you have made ‘victim‘. Your parents are in a dilemma, they cannot see that your pain and hurt is not physical, it is deep in your psyche. I don’t know what thoughts can motivate you be hit other people, and made yourself a bully, but I believe it came from a deep dark place in you, sweeping-under-the-carpetfull of hurt, pain and ignorance, that is a good 11 years of suffering. At the rate of denial you are at, your parents will not be able to help you come to terms with your own monsters. The best they could do, is to sweep your dirty deeds underneath a carpet, fast becoming a fabric mold. For this you will have my full sympathy. Good luck.

In light of what you did, I think, again, on hindsight, was positive in a twisted sense. Your violence, put my friend’s son to the test. He was broken, but he can be build up again, stronger wiser, never to become the person you are. He will be stronger, because that is the only place you can go, after being weakened. Your actions, has rallied me, to stand side by side with his mother. You random application of violence, didn’t break anyone, or perhaps you did. Which gives us a wonderful opportunity to  help ourselves up, become stronger.

The question that begs to be answered. Who is helping you, become a better person, my dear bully boy?

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