Category: Aikido

Absolutely no competition

Absolutely no competition

As an Aikidoka, one of the core concepts is ‘No Competition’. Which generally means that there is no tournaments, no gold medals, no ‘winner/loser’ in that sense, and most of us gets it.

So I thought.

It was only recently I came to a realization the true virtues of ‘No Competition.’

Sure, we all know that you don’t go out there and compete against others, we don’t race for the first place, but… do you compete against yourself? If you run 5km at 30mins yesterday will you try to beat that record today? And if you do, did you ‘win’? Give yourself a pat on the back?

While I have been practicing Aikido for more than 2 decades, it took an Austrian, Alfred Adler to really bring home this point. As a psychotherapist, Adler also espouses non-competition, as he sees everyone as ‘different but equal.’ Which means that a baby is equal to a billionaire but different, it makes a lot of sense to me, and I hit an eureka moment.

I am equal, but different

How is this possible for me to compete against myself, if I am different in every moment, and the past me cannot equate to the present me, and the future me is a potential that has yet to be discovered? So who am I competing with when I compete with myself? It is simply a delusion of the mind that props a ‘protagonist/antagonist’ duality for us to justify a shallow existence.

True peace comes from non-competition with self.

I was jogging one day and this really hit me, about improvement, do I improve based on my past? That the past is a poor representation of who I can really become, because the past is gone and exist as a figment of our fickle memory; while we move forward, we can only look at our current capabilities built from the past, and move along from there.

Once we can really cease all hostilities and waging a phantom war against ourselves, then we can find true peace, and look at our past, good bad, and the ugly without judgment. I often said that we are our own worse enemy and perhaps it is time for us to be just us, in the present, me-enemy, me-friend and me, all rolled into the present self.

Beat Yesterday

This is actually a slogan for a smart watch company, in reality It’s not gonna be a very fruitful endeavor trying to achieve past glory, because we are a gold medalist once, doesn’t means we can do it again and again, once you are past your prime, what will become of you? When all the accolades have faded, and you are left alone, who else can you beat, if you can no longer beat yourself? Or beat yesterday? Why don’t we just stop beating ourselves, yesterday or any timing, people, achievements, heights and all that? Just live a life of peace and acceptance, just simply do your best and let that shine, when your best isn’t good enough to win, you’ll know that you will not lose you.

Horii Shihan’s Lessons

We had the good grace of hosting Horii Shihan again earlier November, as he came by our dojo for another visit. Horii Shihan is a good and dear friend of Harry sensei and to have him train at our dojo is certainly a weekend I wouldn’t miss.

It was also a good time to catch up with some old Aikido friends and I’m always so happy to see them again.

Simplicity-but never Easy

Horii Shihan’s style is always very simple, these techniques are never flashy and at one glance looks deceivingly easy, which encourages beginners to try without being too intimidating. He don’t encourage break falls, and you can always find a way to do a simple backward roll or forward roll, no high jumps necessary.

While he does comes with a very highly level of technical expertise, which is expected of a Shihan, he does it in such a manner where you’ll need to be very simple to be very precise, there is no fancy complicated footwork, just a lot of tai sabaki, move your body away from the line of attack. The hands are always tactically up, protecting and at the same time, ready to strike (atemi).

So when he teaches, it gives me some clarity, not to overdo things. While teaching Aikido, sometimes for the heck of it, I compound techniques and makes the movement interesting. Learning from Horii Shihan resets my orientation and keeps me grounded, the most effective techniques are the simplest.

Weapon lessons

One the second day of training, Horii Shihan taught us weapons and how it connects to our hand techniques. Again his methods are simple and using weapons adds a new dimension to our training and really helps us focus on our relationship with our uke.

He stresses a lot about our alignment as we often seem to be slanted or skewed to one side. He wants us to keep our strike straight and while there is one part of us, withholding that fear of accidentally hitting our partner, the paradox is by not getting our strike straight, we will indeed end up hitting our partner!

So he stressed the importance of striking properly and getting the alignment right, this can only happen when we clock enough time with weapon under quality instructorship, our training with him tells me that I have a long way to go when it comes to weapons training. It also reflects our worry mindset and we are not clear nor committed in our striking.

Being Aikidoka is Being Human

There is simply nothing ‘great’ about Horii in the best sense possible because he never projects that aura of greatness, despite of being in demand to teach Aikido globally. He is a very simple and kind person, and talks to everyone in the dojo, regardless of your grade. You can reach out and touch him, and talk to him like another human being. There is no celebrity status about him, and he trains with anyone, and never sticks with just the senior belts.

While he is just ‘visiting’ us for the weekend, he cares about the dojo he visits and wants to know more about the dynamics of the dojo, and if there is any challenges the dojo faces and if there is anything he can do to help. When he observes certain conflicts within the dojo, he will ask about it and try to find out a way to solve the issue.

It is certainly my privilege to have received by 4th Dan from him in 2022 and train with him this year.

Don’t Quit!

Don’t Quit!

Dear boys,

I’m sure by now you both have heard many times over these 2 words, “DON’T QUIT!”

Do you know exactly what it means?

Recently I learned a very subtle yet profound lesson over the past months. You see, there was The Quarrel. an argument which involved a good and old AIkido friend of mine and a newer member of our club. The new guy also happens to be one of the 2 financial contributor to the club. As it would have it, the new guy is in every way an incompetent politburo, and does pretty much nothing constructive for the club. He simply uses his money and ‘buys’ his way into the club.

The unfortunate fate for this new guy was, he has to deal with me, which he has no leverage, as yet. Instead of picking on me, he picked a quarrel with my friend and in the fit of anger, told my friend:” If you don’t like it! There is the door! You can get out!” Mind you, my friend along with me has been in the club for the longest time and this new guy? He’ just a f**king new guy (FNG). I was there when it happened and I know exactly how it went down. My perspective? That FNG is a dick. I’m biased? Guilty as charged.

Emotional Decision

Point is, my friend decided to leave the club completely, and in the preceding months, some of us tried to heal the divide. The other financial contributor, who is the most senior member in the club, did nothing to bring the 2 differing parties together to sort things out. The matter was left as it is. There was no justice for the impacted party, and the wrongdoer was never made to apologize.

It did also affected me and I too wanted to quit the club; I did actually, but rescinded the decision. There was a part of me that isn’t ready to let this go, after I told that senior member I’m quitting, I felt a very deep part of me pushing back, I’m not leaving yet.

Changing narrative

It is true, that nothing stays the same; everything changes, and while that singular incident split the club in a catastrophic manner, time ticks on. In the a fit of emotional outburst, our psyche locked onto that moment and it stays as it is in our memory, every time we think about it, it riles us up, every time we mentioned that FNG, we rolled our eyes. While we replay that in our mind over and over again, we lose track of the present and the present will dictate the reality as deem fit, since we are still stuck in the past with that old image.

Manipulating the narrative

While I stayed on, I can see how that FNG is able to change the narrative to suit his whims, for my friend who left, his absence cannot challenge that narrative. While the FNG craft and weave half truths, and some complete lies, my friend will be used as the bogeyman in that narrative. The one who stayed wins, never mind that he’s an almost complete dick, now a lying dick.

Speak for yourself

Its a good thing I stayed because I bear witness in the coming months, when people who didn’t know about The Quarrel, will come to learn about it from those who stayed. Guess what they’re gonna say? Good things about themselves of course! What about those who left? Who’s gonna be around to tell their version of what happened?

Takes a lot to stay

You’ll need courage, and maturity to stay, despite of being ostracized, wronged, or made the public enemy. For me I wouldn’t learn this had I quit; and since I’ve made myself very clear to that FNG that I didn’t like him, he too will create an ‘asshole story’ about me and how good he will look. Who is going to be around to knock some reality into the story, and set the matter straight? Me, because I am still around.

Staying also means that you will be around to see how things move along. That quarrel is nothing but a memory in me, we need to keep it as such and not let it taint our reality. And memory is a fickle software, we will remember things not as it was, but as we favors, we will add a healthy dosage of ‘me, good guy’, and ‘them, bad guy’ into our timeline. Chapters are written by those who prevailed, about those who didn’t.

Staying to heal

A lot of times we did things to hurt people, and vice versa, so we leave, give some space, and sometimes give ourselves space to heal. Sometimes staying heals too, because that is the source of the hurt, and as long as you don’t treat the source, the hurt will follow you where ever you go. Sure take some time away, but come back.

We have read so many comeback stories, that turned from failure to triumph, go ahead, celebrate that success, but it can only happen when you “come back”. If not, you will just be a quitter, so stay, hang around like a bad stench, give your haters a reason to hate you, and when things are more settled, turn their hating into compassion. You can only do this with your presence, in the present. It also sends a very clear message to these naysayers, that, it will take a heck a lot more than that to upend you. By hanging around we stand our ground, fight for what matters, and build strength and character, not just run away when the s**t hits the fan, or simply because we don’t like working with dicks.

Surviving an Aikido Seminar

Surviving an Aikido Seminar

Going for an Aikido seminar can be fun and very insightful, you will get a huge bump no only in your Aikido technique but also in terms of stamina, as well as overall fitness. However, you can only enjoy if you are also in the right physical conditioning to enjoy the seminar and also use some of the tactics and strategies below.

What is an Aikido seminar

It is a training event where Aikidoka gathers over a period of days, mostly because there is a visiting Aikido Shihan (師範) in town. So typical training can stretches over a weekend, starting from the morning all the way to the late afternoon or evening.

Usually such seminars are open to Aikidokas from other schools or even out of town and it is an excellent time to train with people outside of our own dojo clique, and get a sense of how harmonious our Aikido is. It also helps to keep our ego in check when we train with someone more skilled and senior to us, Suddenly we feel less competent and cocky.

How to get the most out of an Aikido seminar

Bring Your Own Bokken (木剣) and Jo (杖)

Some visiting Shihan teaches weapons and empty hands during a seminar and Aikidokas are encouraged to bring their own bokken (木剣) and jo (杖) so that they can use it during the seminar. When I was younger, this is an opportunity for me to show off my weapons, not limited to how proficient (or not) I am with these personal training weapons.

Many of the dojos hosting the seminars, will typically have some of their own spare stock of bokken (木剣) and jo (杖) and I’m very inclined to use theirs instead of lugging my own long wooden sticks all over town, in buses and trains. If you are good with yours, you are good with any other stock bokken and jo, and if you are no good, then any bokken and jo will do as well. This non-attachment mindset saves you from worrying about losing your own precious weapons as well.

Picking your training partner

The good thing about a training seminar is you will get a plethora of Aikidokas, of different grades and skill levels; some are very high level skilled Aikidokas and will milk you for all your worth, these Aikidokas bring with them a level of performance that will level up your Aikido intensely.

However, they also come with superb stamina and fitness, so for you to enjoy training with them you need to keep up, and give as much as you got. If they are fast, you need to be fast. They lead, you follow, and when you lead, they will chase. In such a close exchange, Aikido movements becomes very fluid and you will enjoy Aikido training at a high level. These Aikidokas are very fun to train with and you will burn calories, no doubt.

The drawback is, if you are not as fit as these Aikidokas, you will not outlast them, so you will need to slow down at some point during the seminar, and that’s where you pick more junior belts to train with, when you are tired. Typically these junior belts are not so sure of their techniques and will take pause here and there to check and correct themselves. The pace will be less intense and you can catch a breather training with them.

Lots of Kneeling

If the seminar lasts over the weekend or more, there will be a lot of seiza (正座) and this will take a toll on your knees, you will feel numb and even painful after a long day of training, kneeling, getting up, even doing Suwari waza (座り技).

It will put your legs’ flexibility and pliability to the test, heck, some senior Aikidokas are also not used to such prolonged kneeling and it is ok to resort to sitting cross legged.

Some will use knee pads as some form of cushioning but through these years I’ve never found the need to put extra padding, instead these thick paddings can get in the way of the kneeling. so we have to bear with the pain and occasional blisters.

Enjoy your training!

At the end of the day, an intense 2-3 days seminar is a very good way to accelerate your training, you get your fitness level bumped up, and you’ll learn loads of new techniques from the visiting Shihan, deepens your understanding of Aikido, make lots of new friends and get to know a lot of people.

A good Aikido seminar is one where there is a lot of laughter, and learning, this is provided that you train smart and use some sensibility to fully enjoy the experience and not get worn out or worse injure yourself.

Friends of Aikido

Friends of Aikido

Singapore is a place of transit, and we have many working professionals who come here to work and some of them needs a place to practice Aikido. Over the decades, many of these Aikidokas came and went, some stayed in Singapore for a long period of time and left because their work here is done or for other reasons.

Harry sensei is quite well known during his time and many overseas Senseis who were friends with Harry sensei will send their students this way, when their students came to Singapore to work and needed a place to train.

Long lasting friendship

This is the magic of Aikido, when we train together we build friends for life. There are friends from Germany, United States, Thailand, Poland and Indonesia, far and wide. It makes this even more precious when they came back to Singapore for holidays, in tow, the family, kids and their roles expanded from being just an Aikidoka to a father, mother, spouse and much more. No matter the roles they play, it was Aikido that brought us together and like the song goes, You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave. In a good way.

Keeping the Spirits Alive

Even with Harry sensei gone, many of these students still return to the mat to relive the memories and this keeps me going so that these folks who remembered Harry sensei fondly can come back to the place where he used to train.

While there are many dojos in Singapore, there is only one where Harry sensei lived and taught, you can learn Aikido anywhere else, but this is the place where we keep Harry sensei’s vibes and ethos as much as possible.

Moving Forward

It is nice to know from Gabe who came recently that he still gets the same welcome he got when he was training with Harry sensei more than 10 years after he left Singapore. This feedback is an encouragement that I am heading the right directions in keeping Harry sensei’s practice and vibes alive.

This gives me reasons to go on, keeping this place going so that more of Harry sensei’s students far and wide can come, and pay homage to his legacy and memories as an Aikido sensei.

All are Welcomed

All are Welcomed

I remembered my first time going back to Aikido after missing it for a while, to take time starting my family and settle some personal matters. I just turn up, unannounced at Ceylon Sports Club, gi, belt and when Harry sensei saw me, he stared at me with his usual gruff, no non-sense look. I asked humbly if I can train with him; something like that. Of course I was scared that he said ‘NO!’, and thankfully he didn’t.

There was another guy, who phoned him, asking if he could come and train. Harry sensei told the other guy, who was an Aikido instructor; the dojo is a very small one and we don’t have a space for an instructor. He never made it through the door. Harry sensei have no space in the dojo for a big ego.

Just turn up and train

That was Harry sensei’s style, he likes to see doing, presence and attendance. He don’t want pretense, inflated personality, talker to be in his dojo. He don’t care much about what you think and less about what you think of him. He’s there, at the dojo, does Aikido and goes home. That is his virtue and also his weakness.

The Custodian

I never stopped questioning about my existence there, even after I got into the cadence of taking classes every Monday, Who am I? No, I still don’t think I am a ‘sensei’. I’m training with a bunch of Aikido friends for many years, and not many of them would regard me as sensei, I’m entirely fine with that.

The other thought that constantly crossed my mind was, Will I be as welcoming to a person I don’t like coming to train on the mat? Or if an MMA person turns up and challenge me to prove that Aikido don’t work? What will I do in the face of hostility?

I’d welcome them, unequivocally.

You see, I have come to see myself as a caretaker of the dojo, looking after the place, conduct class, and keeping the mats after the class is done. That’s me, my purpose and my training, above and beyond that, I take it to myself that I hold the custody to practice good Aikido. and I have no right whatsoever to turn people away, show them the door, respond to hostility with more hostility. Doing so will also tarnish Harry sensei’s legacy and the dojo he started.

It’s not my dojo

It’s comforting to know that I’m just that, and I’m free to do the best I can in this aspect, never trying too hard to become any semblance of an instructor. I know my place and never impose on others, tell people what to do, and dictate my style and opinion on my friends. It is also not in my power to tell people if they can or cannot train there, Anyone and everyone is welcome to train and no matter how difficult that person presents themselves, it is our learning and lesson on the mat.

Harry sensei has never said that this was his dojo, although we all knew who is The Sensei. He lets his presence do the talking which is enough to stoke my interest and fuel my desire to learn more about Aikido. He has also never shown anyone the door (as far as I know), and he welcomes anyone. I’ve never seen him tell someone ‘If you are not happy, there is the door!’

The Aikido Pull

That is Harry sensei’s magic. I will always remember, many times I left class feeling inadequate, hungry to learn and understand how he did what he did, with little effort, and with so much poise, and skill. He does his Aikido drawing you in, you are attracted to his quality, and his style never pushes anyone away. You will always want to come back, and when you don’t, it is never because you are not welcomed.

Harry sensei knows how modern times distracts us from our Aikido training, and when I am apologetic for not turning up, he will always say things like ‘Aikido can wait.’ He’d want us to focus on our career, family and other more pressing matters first, Harry sensei can wait.

It’s quite paradoxical, because when he says that, it creates that desire for you to want to get back to training. It’s not nice to keep him waiting. That is his pull, he will never hustle you to keep your attendance up, berates you for missing class, or tell you that you need more training. He will always welcome you, welcome anyone and as long as you turn up just to train and do nothing else, the Dojo is always open for you.

Pain Hurt and Suffering

Pain Hurt and Suffering

Dear Boys,

Your dad has been jogging quite a fair bit these 2 months, and plans to do this more consistently, this is something I’ve done back in 2019, when I jogged 5km everyday. While a few things have changed since then, you dad got older, (of course!), you boys are also more involved in running. I certainly hope to see more of that!

Running with such regularity will build a certain cadence and rhythm where the body have to adjust to the rigors. Pain will become an acute and constant companion and we need to have a way to manage it mentally. Pain is already a familiar feeling through my years in Aikido.

Pain

I defined this as any form of injuries we sustained, it can be a sprain, badly landed foot, cramps and knocks and falls, In short, the body is broken and not operating in an optimal manner. Pain is existential, you will feel it, there is no wishing it away. Pain is the immediate feedback when you injure yourself.

Hurt

Hurt can be used interchangeably with pain, maybe a little more holistically, and abstract. There is a distinction when we use it to describe certain insult to the ego, which is mainly mental. People usually will say:” I’m hurt by you saying that I am fat.” The fat isn’t painful, the saying isn’t painful, there is no physical harm, the body isn’t broken in anyway. But the utterance is difficult for the mind and psyche to accept the uncomfortable reality.

Sometimes, we do stupid things, and try stunts and gets hurt in the process. We will often wince in a painful expression when we think about our stupidity and while the pain might have been gone, looking stupid will hurt our image of us being suave and competence in what we are doing. This happens a lot in Aikido, where we try some new moves and it didn’t work out, we end up getting injured, and it hurts thinking about it.

Suffering

This sensation happens long after the pain and hurt is gone. Suffering is not entirely necessary, it does nothing but to eat away our healthy psyche and erodes our ability to cope with the hardship that pain and hurt brings along. Suffering weakens us exponentially compared to pain and hurt.

We suffer when we dwells in the pain and hurt, longer than needed. When people says ‘you are fat.’ It takes less than a second to say it, but the word hangs around long after it has been uttered, causing a festering of negative thought and a downward spiral into destructive images of us being a sloth, being lazy, and people laughing at our physique. We start to expand our negative worldview and see us never looking as good as Brad Pitt in Fight Club, or other celebrities. Suffering makes us shrink from our reality and holds us back from coming to our own rescue.

Identifying the imposters

Pain is a constant, hurt can be a reminder. Suffering tells you where you need to love yourself. This is especially true running, it can take hours to run, and there are times where I hit a mental limit, the pain is throbbing, the hurt is bubbling and then I start to suffer. That means I have hit a mental wall, the run has reached an attritional stage, where more mileage will only cause more suffering. So I stop.

There is no point for me to push on, as there is no urgency or life and death situation, it is a run, and the feeling of suffering tells me that I have reached a limit, where I am weaker, so I know at that point, I need to recover. when I am better, I will go back and revisit that point of weakness and I will come back better and stronger.

So there is no need for masochism and that egoistical desire to push our limit and achieve our goals, and then end up critically injured or dying in the process.

Running has taught me to read my limits and to accept my weakness. While I’m getting stronger running, I’m not in any particular hurry to achieve any lofty goals at my own body and mind’s expense.

The Bully

The Bully

Dear Boys,

Ian didn’t have a good Secondary One, the transition was rough as the primary school years were kind of rough. and you wanted to put all that behinds and start afresh, eager for a clean slate. a bit too eager I’d say.

As your parents we remembered your Sec One form teacher telling us on your first Parent Teacher Meeting (PTM) that you are great, assimilating well into secondary school life, but a bit too fast to raise your hands, and perhaps working a bit too hard to try and fit in and get accepted.

Poor judge of character

In the early months of your Sec 1, you were grouped into a team to do some work, and you told us about these few boys whom we singled out a particular individual- let’s call him Johnny. I told you to be wary of Johnny as he don’t look like someone I’d consider decent, based on your account of him and his behavior.

You decided to go ahead with his group and true to our opinions, you didn’t have a good time.

Bad to Worse

It turns out this Johnny was of all sorts of wayward character, making things difficult in class, and turns out to be the kind of delinquent we warned our kids to not become and warn our kids of. Unfortunately, he decided to pick on you, since you’ve sort of worked with him earlier in a project, and looked like you can be pushed around for being amiable and nice.

Over the school term, we keep hearing you coming home to tell us about the things Johnny did in class, and things got so bad he was caned in class. That was his problem but he also decided to embarrass you by ‘pants-ing*’ and gets physical through rough play.

No use going to the teachers

We mentioned this to the school but it was no helpful, despite of the school telling him not to come near you, he still continues to harassed you. It looks like there was little that could be done to deal with him.

One evening while you were talking about him, again. and we got quite agitated because Johnny is really getting on my nerve, and yet I cannot do anything about him. In exasperation, I asked:” Why is he still messing with you!?” Something like that.

You finally blurted out, with tears in your eyes “Because I’m scared of him!”

The Truth is Out

That revelation puts things in perspective. Now we know we need you to deal with your fear, otherwise you will never overcome this bad experience and it will haunt you for a long time to come.

We also knew that the establishments will not be able to help you anymore, so we need to take matters into our own hands.

Last Straw

Towards the end of Term 4, you came back and told us that Johnny started another antics of trying to hug you from behind, and tried to be ‘friendly’ in this way towards you. We knew you didn’t like it and he is not at all that friendly, so he’s just being him.

I told you this- take the fight to him.

You have my full blessings to beat the living daylights out of him, and apply necessary violence to send the message, not to trifle with you anymore. Our rules of engagements is simple: ‘Don’t start a fight, and if you found yourself in one, you need to end it with you standing.’

So I give you my blessings, Take Him Out. I would expect a call from your principal informing your parents that you are involved in a gnarly fight and I have to go to the school to sort this out.

The End

So the next day I came home and asked you about it, you nonchalantly told us that you knocked him out.

We were like “YOU WHAT!?”

You proceeded to tell us that Johnny was up to his usual nonsense and tried to hug you again, from the front this time, you saw that coming and pushed him away once, and warned him not to do it.

Johnny ignored you (no surprise there) and came at you again. You did the same thing pushed him away and then swung your small bag, with a half filled water bottle in it at him. It caught him at the side of his head and he went down, lights out.

He wasn’t out for long and got to his feet groggily. It happened so quickly no one has got a chance to even register what happened. According to you, some other naughty kids saw you did that as well, but no one said a thing.

Training paid off

While your dad is an Aikidoka by training, I’ve never taught you boys anything martial arts, instead I teach ‘dirty fighting’ getting you boys to punch, kick and deal with a larger opponent, getting pinned to the ground and fighting your way out and up. Fighting is very physical and overwhelming and I’ve always prepare you both to fight someone larger faster and better than you. The only way to prevail in such a situation is to throw the rule book out, and fight like hell.

Of course part of these trainings is about timing and distancing, which paid off when Ian took out Johnny. While I never wanted any of you boys to get into a fight, I’m glad you could get out of one, quickly and expeditiously without being hurt.

Smooth sailing

After that event, Johnny learned to stay away from you, thankfully that was the only year you were in the same class with him and it did helped to minimize interactions. I think the other confidence builder is that you know you can stand up for yourself, and people has seen you done that, and the rest of your secondary school says, no one decided to pick on you anymore.

That fight, thankfully didn’t change you for worse, you’re still that good natured, often goofy, aloof boy, but I think word would have spread that you can do what is needed to protect yourself.

*Pants-ing is a trend back then where kids tries to pull down each other’s pants in a bid to embarrass them

Do not get into fights

Do not get into fights

Dear Boys,

While this might sound like a no-brainer, sometimes emotions can get better of us, and we get triggered by overwhelming external circumstances to act in a hurtful and violent manner.

Just recently, there are 2 case of such altercations. one of them involved a 36 year old Stanchart staff called Chua who hit a 74 year old smoker, Ng, who wasn’t happy that he was filmed smoking at places he shouldn’t be smoking. The older man kind of attacked Chua, who charged at the guy, knocking him to the floor. Ng sustained head injuries and died later in hospital. Chua received a jail sentence of 4 years for voluntarily causing hurt which causes grievous hurt. The other case looks similar, a 53 year old man, drunk, punched a 66 year old guy, who died when his head hit the ground.

There is no winner in violence

We lived in a generally civil society surrounded by laws and rules of all sorts. sometimes it may look as if the people are breaking the law, and we would like to take some self-righteous actions, and be civic minded. Chua, in the earlier case, took pictures of Ng, who was smoking at non-designated area. One man ended up dead and another one jail. Is it worth it for a moment of being indignant of being right?

That doesn’t mean we turn a blind eye to blatant flouting of the law, or right the wrong when we can. It is really a judgement call. Use all your sense and don’t get blinded by wanting to do the right thing, and end up doing the wrong one. When you need to resort to violence to uphold the law, or stop crime, then we might have crossed the line and we become the lawbreakers instead.

Civil society

To be honest, I need to keep myself in check as well, since I can be passive aggressive and vocal in telling people off, but as I age, I took a more mature perspective. Recently I started to quietly count the number of infractions I see on the road while I’m on the road, cycling. I lost count.

Cyclists, pedestrians, pram pushers, all sorts of walking humans crossing the road when the Red man is on

Motorists sees the zebra crossing as a ticket to speed

Drivers on their phones when they are driving

School children crossing the road looking at their phones

Illegal parking

The list goes on…

The whole point is this, I didn’t give up, I choose to look for good behaviors instead, and be thankful that I get to my journey safely. Surely there are times I can’t help it but feel angry when a car zipped pass me instead of stopping at a zebra crossing for me, it’s my right of way after all! These days I let it go, really no point arguing and get into an altercation, the motorist needs to get somewhere and so do I, it’s just unfortunate that our fate intertwined at that junction.

Lose/Lose in any fight

There consequences, unfortunate and unforeseen if we get into a fight. Like Chua, he will leave jail at 40, with a criminal record for the next 30-40 years of his life. One guy is dead because of his rash act. For me, at my age, it will be stupid foe me to get into a fight with a younger guy. If I win, that guy will look bad being trounced by a older guy, he will bring more friends the next time to even the odds, and if I get whacked by him, then I probably deserved it, going fist to fist with a younger guy. Like I said either way no one wins. If I happen to be the younger guy fighting an older guy, the outcome is still the same, I win, I still lose.

MACU

Back in the days when I just started out in Aikido, everyone who is practicing Martial Arts have to have this from the Martial Arts Control Unit (MACU) as martial artists are somehow common bedfellows with triads and secret societies. This was abolished in the later years, but the point I want to bring across is that if your dad, a trained Aikidoka gets into a fight and someone gets hurt badly, the newspapers and social media will have a feast. Imagine the headlines: “Martial Arts Expert kills/maimed/ hurt, cripple old man.”

There is an additional level of restrain for my case as people will hang me for the slightest atercations I unwittingly find myself in. So it is better that I don’t get into a fight, especially when most fights are totally unnecessary and a simple clash of egos.

More importantly, my life will be disrupted, if I go to jail, like Chua did, I’d lose my job, and put the rest of you in hardship, all for a matter of ‘principle’?

Just live and let live so that everyone can go their way and live their life. Yes, I might get angry, but acting on anger is the a very bad idea, holding on to anger only feeds it more and it’s a slippery slope down. Nothing good usually comes out of anger, so remember to deescalate internally, play your own harmony movie in your head instead of a violent vengeful one. Have a happy cartoon to play when you come across a totally unnecessarily tensed or angry situation. Learn to defuse your own bad temper and always let go of the bad.

Act only when the reality of you or your loved ones are close to being harmed. Or you need to put a stop to a dangerous situation, but most of the time err on the safe side, and the safe side often means doing nothing too vengeful or angry.

Stay safe and be safe.

Link:

Man admits tackling elderly smoker at void deck who later died

Man punches 66-year-old who later dies in hospital

I got my 4th Dan

I got my 4th Dan

No one knows this but I was close to tears back in November last year when Horii Shihan announced that we have passed our grading. ZZ got his 1st Dan, Tri- 2nd Dan, MJ-his 3rd Dan, and me my 4th Dan.

I’m not sure why I wanted to cry, perhaps it is because Harry sensei just died back in April? If it hadn’t been for his demise, I would be getting the 4th Dan from him, like how I got my 1st to 3rd Dan.

Perhaps it is because if it had been Harry sensei grading us, getting my 4th Dan would be an platonic reality, and now with Horii shihan grading, I’m not so sure if my standards meets his expectations. Maybe it was an overwhelming wave of relief to hear Horii shihan announced that all of us got our grades and pass his scrutiny.

Harry sensei’s legacy

When he died, we were in kind of a limbo, as an Aikidoka, I was already thinking of hanging up my hakama, my days on the mat ends now that Harry sensei is gone, but as fate would have it, I continued his work on the mat, stepping into this role.

While I can somewhat sit in his place, doing my atomic bit to continue the class, I cannot fill the void left behind by him in the bigger larger Aikido universe. Harry sensei is very connected and his loss is certainly felt. He has made many, many friends through his Aikido practice.

Horii shihan is one of Harry sensei’s friends who came and answer our limbo. He came to our humble dojo, trained with us, and graded us. With his guidance, we are able to see a bit clearer into the future as a dojo.

It’s so true to say that we exists because we are standing on the shoulders of giant, for our case, we move from the giant shoulders of Harry sensei to another. This is the true spirit and soul of of Aikido. That peace, love and harmony really works, to build friendship, bond and support; this is perhaps the reason why I continue to train and carry on the good work Harry sensei has left behind.