Month: June 2024

The Believer

Everyday, we go to the dojo, and do our stuff. Then we change and go home and do our stuff too. Every single day we are doing our stuffs. Why?

This is especially more so when we go to Aikido, since we made a choice to go, we have to have a reason for going. That reason is a belief.

Let’s face it, we live in a peaceful time, what is the probability of us, ever using what we learned in Aikido? To disarm an attacker? If we go to class with a ‘Doomsday prepper’ mentality, then we might as well learn to fly a plane, learn to defuse a bomb, learn Russian. The point is, what we learned in the dojo, is pretty much not very useful in our everyday lives.

And yet we go to train as if it is a religion. The reason is belief. We believe that with the values of Aikido, or in general, in martial arts, will make us a better person. We go to the gym to work out, thinking it will make us a Brad Pitt, or some Hollywood kick ass babe. It is these beliefs that keeps us going, and there is no belief that can stop us. All beliefs keeps us going. And beliefs are non-judgmental, there is no right, or wrong beliefs. Beliefs are simply beliefs because we believe in them.

One important thing though, we give power to what we believe in. If we believe that we are weak, we get stronger at being weak. If we believe that we cannot learn Russian, Russian becomes more difficult to learn.

And it is a one way street, you cannot reverse and say hey! Wrong belief! Let’s back out! Very much like life, a belief has no reverse. you can only go forward. and take the next turn, and hopefully choose a more aligned belief.

So we keep going to the dojo, in hope of turning our belief from abstract to something concrete. Very much like a soldier joining a Ranger course. The thought of joining is a belief, the motion of joining is acting on a belief, and the ability to pass a Ranger course, is making a belief a reality. Hence, everyday when we go to our dojo, we need to bear in mind, every moment is a reality check, are we acting on our beliefs? And is our reality an enactment of our beliefs. If yes, then what are the beliefs we live by? We all turn up on the mat for different reasons, different beliefs, and until we can agree and properly empower our beliefs, we will always be stepping onto the mat, and living our lives for all the wrong reasons.

First published April 11 2013

Nostalgia- Bedok South Old Haunt

Nostalgia- Bedok South Old Haunt

Dear Boys,

We revisited your parents’ old neighborhood recently and got back some of the vibes from our past. This Block 58 Market/ Food Centre is the focus of activities during our days and till now, it still remains vibrant while much of the residents there have aged, over almost 5 decades.

K L Chan Enterprises

There are a few old shops that has stood the test of time, one of them is K L Chan Enterprises, this was our go-to stationery shop and their arch rival is anther stationery shop called ‘Independent’ which has since closed down. It was where we will go to get our stationeries, and back in the days, it is also the place our parents can go to get our school books.

There is another well known ‘anchor tenant’ known as Low See Seng, which is an Econ-minimart. It is at the corner of Blk 59 and it is a shop that has stood the test of time.

Blk 58 Market/ Food Centre

Old neighborhood vibes differently, they are not as organized as air-con shopping centres as there is seemingly random cacophony of trades, sales promotion and hard selling. It is authentic as these tradespeople sells hard because if they don’t; they don’t make a day’s worth of living.

You’ll get a bunch of ‘me-too’ shops selling the same stuff, Fruits and vegetables, and they compete in a zero-sum game which only benefits the customers. Since price is the deciding factor, the cheaper the better, another antics is variety, there is a huge range of fruits and vegetables you can get from the shops there, and just grapes alone, you’ll be spoilt for choice!

Weathering the Weather

There is no air-conditioning in such open air town square, it is subject to both polar, hot and rain. So we get a hive of activity in the morning, when it’s still cooling and the heat hadn’t max out to our usual tropical number. So we all will get our stuff done so that we can stay out of the heat, by late morning, with the sun nigh, you’ll see the unsheltered area typically cleared out, shoppers and sellers the same.

If it is the rain, same thing would happen, except that you have to deal with the wet and water; while there is shelter, it will become crowded as everyone will be trying to use it to avoid getting into the rain. Floors will become slippery and the usual walking stride will be reduced to a kind of sliding shuffle which is dependent on how well your shoes grip the rain soaked floor.

For the sellers, rain is a major bane as many of their products cannot be wet, clothing, food, fruits, electronics, you name it, so it will certainly dampen(pun intended) their sales and all of them can only display a solidarity in stoicism to wait out the rain.

Soaking it up

It’s good to head back to a place of memories spanning 4 decade back, and it is a place of fond events, while some of the usual mundane things we do now might be a chare, these daily errands will be gone in a few years and all you boy will have are just a figment of your imagination tucked in one corners of your brain.

Treasure and cherish them!

You father likes the following things

Dear boys,

You dad likes Kit Kat, Garfiled the Cat comics,

He sang 2 songs to your mum, in the wedding dinner, and this is all before singing and making a fool out of yourself in front of your guests becomes a norm lately.

The songs he sang are: Right Here Waiting, by Richard Marx and When you say nothing at all, by Ronan Keating. Your uncle was strumming his guitar. And I sang like shit.

His fav food is Bak Kut Teh, Onion Eggs, anything coconutty, can be Bur Bur Cha Cha, or Chendol. and oh yes, he cannot resist Durians.

He is not much of a ‘ball’ person, but he does decently on wheels, he was an avid mountain biker, and he rides motorbikes before (he’d very much loved to continue with those stuff, but he has to get past your mum’s nagging worry.)

Balls meaning basketball, soccer and all those ball things, he’d not too good in them.

He can jog and jog a lot. He also can swim and he learned how to swim when he damned near drowned in his very first mini-triathlon. since then he can do about 40 laps in front crawl at ease.

To date, he has about 19 years of Aikido training, and he holds a 2nd Dan.

So boys, what is your likes and favs?

First published January 27, 2014

Becoming becoming…

Of late, I noticed that when I train, I can sense that I am doing something wrong and I go “ArRGGGHHH!” stopped myself and restart the technique from the beginning. Or at times Harry sensei micro corrected my movement, and I adjusted myself promptly from there on.

Or the positioning of my legs, body etcetera.

Slowly I realised that I am becoming self-aware, more and more, as I trained. This is why Aikido is so unique and endearing. You get to discover the pool at your own pace, seldom do you get thrown into the deep end and left to learn how to swim by yourself, or drown.

Because ‘O’ sensei started Aikido with no competition, we can all learn at our own pace. Some slow, some quickly, but all at our own pace, for some, mistaken as leisure. It all comes down to the same manner, to achieve a total self awareness, or to some measure, higher self awareness than we first started out.

This is where I am beginning to feel. I can stop myself when I catch myself improperly positioned. or the turning is incomplete. or I am not thinking clearly, or fear speaks to me louder than usually. Aikido is very dynamic, unlike mediation, where you still yourself to find yourself. In Aikido, you find yourself moving yourself. As always the diplomatic caveat is that each to it own, I cannot claim that the former is better than the latter or vice versa. I can meditate as much as I can move, and I feel that movement and non-movement complements each other.

Anyway, I’m going out of tangent…

In the ability to become self aware, we can then start to appreciate ourselves, where the quality of mind, harmonises with the quantity of the physical. I am a small  fella, and only when I can make my psyche and physic meet and work together, then I can stand to gain a better leverage.

Only when you become self aware, then we can realize our own mistakes, and only when we can realize our own mistaken then can we see that same mistake happening on other people, only when we can see that mistake happening to us and other people, then we can have a window of opportunity to correct these mistakes, and the lo and behold! A teacher is born….

I can be mistaken to insinuate that I am proficient to teach, and I shall not protest to this misconception, what I am simply saying is that, to become a teacher especially in an art like Aikido, you really need to know your stuff, there is no bullshitting, you can means you can, you can’t, well then you suck. And the only way for you to be good as a teacher is to be good as a student, be the best darn student in the cohort, and you’ll turn out to be a pretty decent teacher.

First published Feb 22, 2012

Aikido, a 6 months break

Aikido, a 6 months break

I started going back to the mat after a 6 months hiatus, realising that I’m no worse for wear, I hadn’t really ‘degenerated’ in skills, nor have I ‘improved’. These are all perceptive anyway.

Being away for 6 months helps to gives me that choice and perspective to choose Aikido, that means I am not ‘addicted’ to it, nor am I doing it out of convenience or that I have something to prove. It’s a choice for me to go back to the mat and it was a good decision.

I’ve taken breaks in the past, when I got married, changed a job or simply don’t have money for mat fees (although Harry sensei did told me to come even when I was cash strapped). This time the break was more deliberate and it was a good time away from Aikido.

What did I miss?

While I go back to the mat, I realised that there is a certain value I bring back to the mat, and with my fellow friends, we all collectively carry some parts of Harry Sensei’s teaching with us, and when we all come together to train, we remember him a little bit. By being the oldest student on the mat with about 3 decades worth of Aikido, predominantly under Harry sensei’s tutelage, perhaps I have the most of his memory with me and to share on the mat.

Giving it back

Walking away from training for the past 6 months means nothing actually happened, I didn’t contribute to the mat, nor did anyone misses me, I literally became an ex-Aikidoka (if there is ever such a term)? I was busy with other things, which I can continue to be busy with, and completely walk away from Aikido.

Returning to the mat, means I can continue to give back, now that Harry sensei is no longer here, it means that it is up to me and the few of my friends to continue his style and his ethos.

Becoming an Aikidoka again

I’m glad my friends welcomed me like I have never left, and it was great to be in the midst of good company, rolling, training and exploring Aikido. We train like peers on the mat, all as equals, keeping any egotistical differences aside and really work on improving our own techniques and protecting the harmony we treasure, on the mat and off the mat.

We have all picked up where we left off with gusto and positivity looking away from our brief tumultuous past; continuing to honor Harry sensei’s good memories, at the same time charting ahead with renewed strength and vigor.

Here’s to more good times ahead! 頑張れ!!!

Saying ‘No’

Saying ‘No’

Dear boys,

Learning to say ‘no’ is perhaps one of the most powerful decision making skills you will ever use throughout your life.

One upon a time…

I was about to go out to buy lunch and I told you, Ian, to do the laundry (this means taking down the laundry, folding them and putting it away.) and you said ‘okay’. When I came back from my chores, I realised that you only did half the laundry and left out those that is still on the poles.

You went back to your work.

Of course I have to ask why was the laundry left half done, and you replied that your work is more pressing as there is deadline for you to complete it.

That is where I told you, just say ‘no.’

For this laundry case, saying yes, I expected you to complete everything and not leave it undone, and if you have more pressing matters to finish, just tell me that you cannot deal with the laundry at all instead of talking on my instructions; doing half of it and then run off to your main event, which is your work. It is important for you to tell me that, so that I don’t come back with the impression that you left the laundry tasks half done.

Home is the best place to say ‘no’

Your parents do appreciate you boys stepping up to do your stuff, and sometimes, trying to accommodate to our instructions, but as you both grow up, there will be things you guys need to do first, that takes precedence over our instructions; then tell us.

  • Tell us that you cannot spare the time to do what we tell you to as you have other pressing tasks to complete.
  • Tell us that you have started on something, and you want to complete it first, before you get to our stuff.
  • Tell us that you need to focus on what you are doing and you cannot spare time to handle other things at the moment.

We can understand that you might have your priorities and you cannot attend to us first.

First things first

Just say ‘no’ makes sure you are on top of things, you are able to finish the things you started before another conflicting tasks hijack your time. There will always be thousand and one thing that will be screaming for your attention and you cannot possibly say ‘yes!’ to all that, learning to pick specific tasks is a life long learning skills and the sooner you start learning to say ‘no’ more than you say ‘yes’, it will help you better discern what to say ‘yes’ to. The quality of your decision making will improve and soon frivolous things will fall away and you an concentrate on the more important valuable tasks.

No isn’t negative

It is not a bad thing entirely to reject and walk away some tasks, and you don’t have to feel bad or obligated to every instructions you were given. Learn to do this at home and tell your often overbearing and obnoxious dad you have other things to do. Learn to take this pressure at home and not give in to doing your dad’s bidding, just because he tells you to, or you aim to please him by doing it.

Learn this skill well at home because you will have more overbearing and more obnoxious people demanding and stealing your time and attention. saying ‘no’ diplomatically and skillfully will help you weed out people who are just using you to better their opportunity. Being ‘no’ to negative people and purpose will pave the way for more positivity and good vibes.

Saying ‘No’ reserves your right to higher purpose

On the contrary, saying no in the right time and manner will tell people that you treasure your time and you will only spend it on tasks that is qualified and valuable. If you value your time, you will attract people who value your time, but you cannot reach these people if you constantly bomb yourself saying yes, just because it is not nice to say no.

Be discerning to the happenings in your life and watch closely for the right ‘yes’ comes along. It is better to be free, than to have your time taken up in the thick of thin things and completely missed out the moments your your lifetime, or worse, you are so engaged in small matters that you can only watch when the opportunity of your life time pass you by and you are too busy to catch it!

So say No when you are still in the midst of completing your own tasks.

Say No when you know you’ll just do it to please someone else

Say No when it will take up 25 hours of your time when you can only spare 24.