LGBT- Your dad’s opinion

LGBT- Your dad’s opinion

Dear boys,

This is going to be a sensitive topic.

Well, actually it isn’t.

Maybe your dad is looking at it from a simplistic point of view.

Anyway here it goes.

I have no idea what LGBT was during my early years. All I can remember was, I was a Sales Assistant in AA Fashion, selling women’s clothing. It was just a sales job and I was 17 years old, waiting for my national service enlistment.

So it was retail sales, and this young boy, sells clothes, women clothes. What a place to be in. Anyway it was just a job, and I was doing it to kill time, waiting for my call to the Army.

My Thai ‘Female’ customer

One of our regulars was a bunch of Thais, who likes to buy our clothing in bulk. My supervisor at that time, Jessie and another senior, Sharon, knows them and usually serves them. I don’t know these Thais well, but I know them enough to see that they are transvestites. And having not understanding of them, I don’t want to have anything to do with them.

They somehow knew that, and at times can be quite cheeky about trying to get me to ‘serve’ them, or help them with packing their bulk purchases. Jessie, and Sharon will always try to be firm with them, and in a way, protect me from their ‘harassment.’

That was that, I don’t really have any opinion about it.

Well, the LGBT issues.

I don’t really care about this recent ‘repeal 377A‘ thingy, and I guess they want to sort of legalise gay marriage of sorts. Personally I think it is somewhat politicized, so let’s not go there. It is a deep dark slippery road with no end in sight.

Here’s what a Dad can says to you boys.

LGBT exists, like it or not.

You cannot hate it away, nor pretend it is not there, nor uses the law against it. It simply exists.

So what do we do about such individuals in society?

Well, I am obviously not LGBT in the truest sense, and I don’t think you boys will end up gays. But it is a conversation your mum and I still have and holds true to. Even if you boys turn out to be, we will still love you the same.

Look beyond sexual orientation and see love

I’m not interested in the men screw men part, or women beds women part, which to some can be repulsive. As long as all these sexual acts are done in the privacy of a 4 walls, with mutual consent, it is not my business to interfere, just as much as a man and a woman makes love in public, which is just as lewd and immoral.

Keep sex personal. If a couple wants to show Public Display of Affection, I have no qualms about it. Men can kiss men, women can kiss women, that’s fine. Just as much as a man can kiss his dog and a woman can kiss her pet cat. but again, if you would like to copulate your pet dog or cat, please stay indoors.

It is about relationship, and love

Perhaps it is too simplistic for me, but it is a choice I make. As long as a man loves a man, and cares for each other, for better or for worse, in sickness and good health, till death do us part, I’m fine with that commitment.

How many heterosexual couples have we seen stuck to a dead-end and sometimes abusive relationship. Men beaten by wives, and wive abused by their husbands, isn’t that more worthy of persecution than see two men in love and taking care of each other?

Maybe there is something deeper I am missing out, but now that I am older, I do see some lesbians holding hands, one woman being woman, and the other woman trying to be masculine. I’ve grown old enough to accept that. they have their lives to live, and to choose the lesser road traveled, they are already living with a tremendous identity crisis, and burden. LGBTs has been long ostracized by societies, and they get what they got, just because they are who they are. I don’t think that is quite fair. It is not easy living our ordinary lives, and to have the label LGBT hanging over LGBT doubles that difficulties.

Why we still hangs on to criminalizing LGBT 

Honestly, I don’t have a good answer, I’m not a lawyer, historian or any sort of extremely educated aristocrat, or academic, or politician. All I can think of is to protect the larger population’s equilibrium. Most of us are not LGBTs, and we are the majority, and the majority likes a constant, and flux are seen with apprehension and trepidation. LGBTs are odd, they appear to go against nature. (I’m not going to touch on the religiousness of the matter!), men simply do not have a sexual relationship with men. So people become influential and uses their influence to fight for and against such issues.

We need law to protect the general population, in the event that LGBT spreads like a plague and infect our children!

So just as much as 377A exists, so does LGBT. we cannot hate these 2 existentialistic issues away, they will be there, and we will still need to live with our lives.

Love is love

Personally I see love as universal. Irrespective of race, language, religion nor gender orientation. You just need to love a person, an animal enough to care for that being, and to a certain degree, die for that being. Love is always fair and we need to leave people alone to love themselves and the people the love.

My Thai Transvestites Customers

Thinking back sometimes, I wish I had the maturity to handle those Thai customers. I mean, they went the whole nine yards, and did the boob job and cut certain organs away to make themselves more womanly. Thailand are full of such people and they must have lived an amazing life.

Back then I was too young to make friends with them, learn from them and absorb their humanity. I’m sure just by being their friends and making them a little more accepted by me, will not turn me into a gay. Love is love, and it doesn’t turn men into gays, not women into lesbians.

I hope you boys can look at these LGBT issues with maturity and let them be in your lives, these are ordinary people living an extraordinary lives, who are always constantly under the threat of prosecution for being them. I’d let them live, just as much as they’d allowed me to be me.

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Aikido and longevity

Aikido and longevity

Last Tuesday evening Harry sensei said, (practising) Aikido does not make you live longer, you just die healthier. And he pointed up, implying when you go is entirely decided ‘up there’. While I am not a God kind of person, it kind of rang true.

It ties in lately that I had a brief thought on why O sensei died of cance? Of course it is not fair for me to say that if he is so in sync with the universe, he ought to be able to live longer, well, maybe become immortal! That kind of thought qualifies me to be a Hindsight Expert.

Harry sensei was right, He asked the class of young NUS student, who has gone to a funeral? And looked into the coffin? Did the person who died, has a smile on the face? Or the person died plagues with ill health and misery? If you die of ill health and misery, then that is not a very nice way to die. It is better to die when you are healthy, and with a smile on your face.

That is an opinion you cannot argue with.

Last Tuesday evening Harry sensei said, (practising) Aikido does not make you live longer, you just die healthier. And he pointed up, implying when you go is entirely decided ‘up there’. While I am not a God kind of person, it kind of rang true.

It ties in lately that I had a brief thought on why O sensei died of cancer? Of course it is not fair for me to say that if he is so in sync with the universe, he ought to be able to live longer, well, maybe become immortal! That kind of thought qualifies me to be a Hindsight Expert.

Harry sensei was right, He asked the class of young NUS student, who has gone to a funeral? And looked into the coffin? Did the person who died, has a smile on the face? Or the person died plagues with ill health and misery? If you die of ill health and misery, then that is not a very nice way to die. It is better to die when you are healthy, and with a smile on your face.

That is an opinion you cannot argue with.

Last posted on  Nov 27, 2014

CHC- Your Dad’s Opinion

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Dear boys,

One of the longest court case in recent times is the CHC case. To sum it up in a nutshell, 6 senior leaders of City Harvest Church was hauled to court for misusing church fund for as much as $50 Million. They were found guilty, and has been sentence to jail. Part of the scandal was Khong Hee’s wife, a superstar wannabe, Sun ‘The Geisha’ Ho. I used to confuse her with Stephanie Sun, who is the real deal, who really can sing one, and don’t need to prance around in undies to get attention. Sorry Steph, I know its insulting to get mistaken for that cheap Sun.

Anyway, while the case ebb and flow with legal technicalities complex enough to ground even the best legal eagle, your dad is not here to tell you boys about the virtues about the case, I want to tell you boys the virtues of Religion, from my perspective.

Your dad has been to CHC

Yes, I was there once when they still had their session in this old ‘Hollywood’ Cinema, in Joo Chiat area. I was invited by a friend, when I was still serving my National Service. And Yes, it was held like a rock concert, everyone was highly energetic, ecstatic, and enthusiastic. All the right ingredients for fanaticism. With emotions running so high, they basically bypass your logic and rationale. You cannot think reasonably, you want to feel the high, and you will give whatever you have, to feel the love of God. You want to come back to this place to get the high again, and you’ll pay, and any amount of money is well worth it, in fact, for God, you forgot about money. So while I left that place generally quite pumped up by the copious does of positivism, and good feeling, it didn’t stick with me. Perhaps, I was poor then, and money was more important to me than any God. To be honest, back then I wasn’t sure if there is really such a thing call ‘God’, I wasn’t sure then, I’m nowhere near as sure now!

Spirituality and Religion

I have never considered myself a religious person, spiritual, yes, religious, no. My opinion? Religions are generally shams, no apologies there; why am I so skewed? Well, religion is never about religion, truth to be told, it is always about people, the gathering of people, and when you have a group of people, coming together, you’ll have to deal with 2 inevitable, Money and Politics. When you gather enough people, you will need to feed them, organize them, and all these activities need money and leadership, and politics is part and parcel of leadership.

Spirituality on the other hand is you, your existence, and your relationship with the immediate and not-so-immediate surrounding. Highly spiritual people can understand and relate to God, and you don’t have to have a religion, or be religious to know god.

Let’s be realistic, what do you need to know God? Time, not money.

What do you need to pray? Time, not money.

Religion, attachment to money, and politics, is in fact an impediment to anyone’s journey to get closer to the divine.

So how did money get involved, to such a large and dirty state?

It again, goes back to the gathering of people, when enough people gathered together to want to know a specific type of god, they will build a structure to host these ‘Gods’, Temples, Churches, Mosques, and these buildings need to be maintained, and it cannot be maintained for free. So you need money to pay people to come and fix things in these buildings. When things breaks down, you want to buy replacements, and heck, since you are getting replacements, might as well get the bestest ones, how can the house of god be subject to sub-par, second hand stuffs? So there we go, the spiral goes up and up, and you’ll end up with mega churches, adorned with air-con comforts, rock star stage, lightning and sound system that would have made Bon Jovi proud. Money, more money is need to maintain these places, and how do you get more money? Get more people to join! And the loop goes on. Make hype, stir emotions, build publicity, so that more people will come, this sham is even better than the best MLM sorcery! You cannot go wrong selling faith!

Tithing

I think this is the basis of how a good deed gone really bad. When you have a building to maintain, everyone must chip in, put in some money to support the upkeep of the building, that’s all. I don’t think money, spare money should be spent, making a specific Sun Ho dress so little and have everyone else use their body parts to touch Sun Ho’s exposed body parts in a  thinly vile attempt to cover these body parts and keep her warm. Tithing is important as a form of personal sacrifice and giving for good faith (pun intended) and to make a stupid, tasteless video like China Wine is absolutely horrendous bad faith!Screen Shot 2013-07-19 at 6.50.56 PM.png

If there is spare money from tithing, then it can be put to other uses, but of course, there are other ideas once you have lots of spare cash, we can all get creative! We can all get corrupted!

Its just greed.

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To know God, any god is simple, just search within yourself, and if you have to, pray. Sorry, I don’t have an academic approach to praying. No one has, praying is something unique to us, and special to us, If you believe in God, a prayer is your own personal intimate conversation with god. You don’t need money, nor give people money to know god. And you don’t need anyone to help you pray, you pray, for yourself, and if you love someone deep enough, you’ll pray for that other person, really, it is just that simple.

I’m going to hell, see you there!

So boys, while I am skeptical about religion, you are free to choose whichever religion you want, as long as these endeavors are religiously realistic. Please stay away from people who are too fanatical or fervent. Be careful when these religious folks start saying things like, “If you don’t join us, you will go to hell!” F**k ’em, your dad has a one way ticket to hell, and when I see these shallow, greedy bastards there, they’ll get a personal tutelage from me on what hell really is.

Links:

http://mothership.sg/2017/04/chc-put-up-an-11-qn-faq-on-the-still-guilty-outcome-heres-our-verdict-on-it/

http://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/courts-crime/legal-costs-may-run-up-to-record-15m-for-criminal-trial

http://www.businesstimes.com.sg/in-depth/city-harvest-trial

Why we Pray

Why we Pray
Fo Guang Shan (Singapore)

Dear boys,

Everybody prays, one way or another. For someone who is areligious, it is quite difficult for me to really explain this ‘pray’ thing we humans do in detail.

But yes, I do pray, and your mum do pray too. I don’t know if you boys would pray and who or what you’ll pray to, but I’ll give my 2 cents worth.

Kuan Im Tng Temple (Joo Chiat )
Kuan Im Tng Temple (如切观音堂)

Firstly let’s look at a practical example. When your mother had a very difficult boss in the earlier days of her working life, she dread going to work. But she has to, so she seek solace in prayers when she visits the Kuan Im Tng Temple (如切观音堂) at Tembling Road. She did that almost every weekend and not long after that, her boss began to treat her nicer, and her days in the office seems to have improved. I don’t know what you can attribute it to the efficacy of her prayers or you can attribute it to things getting smoother, and she was experiencing some teething, new job jitters.

But I think there is some psychological positive effects of prayers. Religious people pray to their gods, buddhas, deities, saints, and other items or characters of higher powers. I prefer to appeal to my spiritual side, and the idea of a prayer is like sending your silent scream out into the cosmos, and seek strengths that you find lacking within.

Pray for good things, seek good conversations with yourself through prayers.

I don’t know if prayer works for me. Personally, I’m a Buddhist kind of person so I do go to a Buddhist temple, burn 3 joss sticks and usually in three bow, pray for 3 things that I want from the divine to have happen in my life. Don’t ask me why the ‘trinity’ of things. It’s not something I have an explanation for, when I do, I’ll share with you.

Prayers are a very, personal and intimate things; so it is really up to the both of you to decide if you want to believe it or not. But I think the human psyche is such that the more you think, belief, the more you will act on it to manifest it in reality. Prayers are something like that, you want something to happen, you pray for it, be it in a temple, in the quiet of your bedroom, in the depths of a psychological dungeon, you utter a prayer, to yourself, to seek strengths, to calm yourself down, and perhaps, the prayer you utter will connect you to the great scheme of the universe. And when you seek help, help will come.

Prayers are not answers

Please remember one thing though, prayers are prayers, you can pray, but if you do not act on your prayers, nothing will happen. You still need to work, even if you pray to strike a 1 million dollar lottery, you will not win, if you do not get your ass off the couch to buy the lottery ticket. Nobody wins a lottery they don’t buy. Prayer works best when you commit to action. Sometimes, when the going gets tough, and action seems to be waning, a little prayer is like a kick booster, gives you that little internal strength to continue. With a little prayer, you will breakthrough.

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Prayers are a form of internal conversation

When you pray, who do you talk to? Some talk to god, buddhas and other characters they believed to be true, more importantly, prayers are an internal conversation you have with yourself. Even when you talk to god, god doesn’t really talk back (for those who’s gods talks back, needs to see a really good shrink). The whole idea of using prayer as a form of internal conversation with yourself is to help you reach into yourself, into places where you normally won’t reach, to find strengths to do things you normally won’t do. That’s what prayers do.

Prayers are positive energy

Nobody prays for their negative things. Everybody wants to pray for good things. Sometimes, people do pray for bad things to happen to other people, that is not a prayer, that is a curse, a hex, you are trying to ask the cosmos to hurt someone else out there. Please don’t do that. If you want to seek divine power to help you, use the universal energy for good, for positivity, not to see that someone gets hurt.

Pray for good things, seek good conversations with yourself through prayers. Then you’ll be ready and open to accept and receive good things. You cannot protect yourself from bad things from happening to you, but if you have a good conversation with yourself through prayer, then the bad will quickly pass. Always seek positivity.

It is not the best answer for this rather abstract and highly personal topic, and I am not a fervent advocate of praying. I do drop by our nearby temple to pray. It makes me feel good, burn 3 joss sticks, offer 3 bows. I really don’t know what happens beyond what I can’t see, but I walk away from every prayers a little stronger, a little bit more positive, that things will turn out well. And if they still don’t; well, makes me wonder if I should pray more.