Making Mistakes and Recovery

Dear Boys,

It is a given, we will make mistakes. What matters more is how we recover from them, that will define who we are.

There are a few kinds of mistakes we will in life.

1-People gets hurt as a direct consequence of our mistakes

2-Things/tasks are not done timely, resulting in miss opportunities, failure to achieve goals/ deadlines

3-Errors as a result of poor performance due to lacking in training, skillset or knowledge

Generally these are the few, there may be more, out there, but the feeling arises from such incidents is one of embarrassment, regret, anger, disappointment, and you will be compelled to take certain actions to remedy these ‘mistakes’ or ‘failures’.

Apologise

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If your mistakes or failure resulted in people getting hurt. The impact is direct and you can see it, like you spilled hot liquid onto a person (never mind you like or dislike that individual!), you should say ‘Sorry!’ without hesitation.

Our goal in life is not to hurt people, unless it was purely pre-meditated or there is a specific purpose in doing so. Otherwise, if our actions unwittingly brought about pain and suffering on people, we must respond with remorse. Apologize first, then we can follow up to make things right.

For missed goals/deadlines

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This one is a bit tricky, as there will be a rolling, long-term impact with unintended consequences for a missed schedule. Sometimes there is nothing else you can do; the boat has sailed. You can sulk and look stupid, or you can scour around to try and remedy it.

Look for solutions, and negotiate to minimize the loss. Communicate and acknowledge your lapse if possible, demonstrating your willingness to take responsibility for the misjudgment and desire to make things right.

Lacking that skills, knowledge or training

Well, it happens, we are no rocket scientists, and when we are forced to build a rocket, our ignorance will show. What you made might look amateurish and you’ll get negative publicity and opinions about it. In this case, there is nothing else you can do but to know that you are pitted against a very steep learning curve.

Own the difficult tasks and set out to learn as much as you possibly can so that you can do as good a job as you possibly can with what little you know. It will be nowhere near good, but you must try.

Sitting around moping that you don’t know what you don’t know will not help, get up and ask for help. Start asking questions, be the noob, the newbie, and people will come to your aid. When they do collaborate with them, and learn as much as you can.

Sometimes the knowledge you get, might be incomplete, that is where you will need to take a gut check and fill in the blanks yourself, and connect the dots, hoping that it works. Doing things the first time can be stressful and the outcome might be less that satisfactory, what will make it worse is you dragging your sorry butt telling the world how unfair that you are given such a insurmountable task and lament about it.

Learning point is everywhere

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You learn the most when you fail, but people will not teach you about your attitude towards failure. Instinctively we will start to look for excuses as to why it didn’t work out, our ego will come to our protection, so that we can still retain some level of pride and save ourselves some embarrassment.

Be reasonable, instead of excusable, if you find reasons for your failures, you will be able to find ways to make yourself better. Reasons are fact based, and people can see you making efforts to correct your mistakes, and learn from it. Excuses are story based, and similarly, people can see how you try to weasel your way out of your own failures.

Reasons makes you work hard to better yourself, and learn from your mistakes. Excuses strengthen your own denial and you’ll learn how to cover up your mistakes.

Using TRX to smile

Using TRX to smile

TRX Montage

Dear boys,

I learned something looking at the photographs of Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. He is this big guy who was a wrestler with the World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) and he transited to the big screen. And now he is a movie star.

Dwayne smile 1 montage

There is this phrase called the ‘million dollar smile’ and I think he has it. I know a there are other people out there who are millionaire and billionaires and they also have such a qualities in their smile. But The Rock’s smile is particularly appealing to me. His smile is big, infectious, wide and beaming. It is unabashedly loud and says ‘Hey, I smile, therefore I am.

A smile will helps us connect with people.

That’s something I realised, smiling is not an intrinsic quality I have, it actually needs a bit of practice to get it right. And being Asian (that’s a lousy excuse by the way), showing our emotions on our face is apparently not in our DNA. So I took the opportunity to practice my smile, when I’m doing something I enjoy, my TRX bout.

Its a bit of a vain for me, because I like to take photographs, but I don’t quite like my photographs to be taken. Its a strange psychology, I guess I’m just pretending to be humble and I try to shy away from the limelight. And guess what, the limelight shy away from you too.

The emotions is quite a bit of a mess to explain as I hadn’t really sort out my feelings as I write this, but I need to write it down first, before I sort it out. Truth is, I’m not gunning for the limelight just for a sake of it, what I meant is that in order for us to be successful, we need to behave in a certain way that allows us to attract success.

The Art of Smiling

A smile will helps us connect with people. A learned and mastered smile will do more than that, understanding the psychology of smiling will beam happiness into a otherwise dull room, a spontaneous smile will open hearts, and build bridges. A smile will always attract a smile, you rarely can look sad and feel sad in the presence of a smiling person. Therefore, a smile attracts happiness, popularity, joy, laughter, open heart, a spirited company and of course, success in all areas of life.

Andy Lau smile 1 montage

A smile is a universal language, regardless if you’re Asian, look at the way Andy Lau smile, he has it too, in his own way. The Rock hailed from Hawaii, you can almost see the Hawaii sun, sand and the sea in his big, wide smile. Andy Lau on the other hand, smiles in his own accomplished, successful way. It is confident, not loud, open and warm people up slowly. He smiles in a way that draws you to him, The Rock smiles in a way that almost bear hugs you. Either way, their smile is the expression of a successful individual.

A Smiling Learner

So for me, I’m still learning, and I think after a workout, with all the good chemicals released in my body, I’d try to learn to smile, and I can honestly say I’m getting better at it. Even at this very moment, thinking of S-M-I-L-E brings a grin to my face. It wasn’t like that in the past. When I was taking my wedding photos with your mum, I have a 1-2-3 smile. which means after the count of 3, my smile basically when stiff.

So let me work on it. There are some stupid and funny things I did while I do my TRX routine, and it never fails to crack me up, and after that, I smile. And when I look at the photo, and I go ‘eeeeeeeewe!’ The I know I did a Stiff Smile, not a Spontaneous Smile. It’s still work in progress, and I think as I learn and keep fit with my TRX training, it is also a good time for me to progress and get better with my smile training. I think my smile hadn’t hit the ‘million dollar’ mark, but I’m sure I’ll get there.

TRX Montage 2

Remember, a smile cost nothing, but it is the most precious crown you can wear on your head.