Dear Boys,

I’ve heard more than once, “I wouldn’t want to bring a child into the world full of pain and suffering.” so says a newly wedded couple, or a childless couple.

Why?

Initially, I wasn’t ready for a response, but as the narrative sinks in, I guess I have to kind of address for it you boys to understand. First of all, we have to understand the complexities of the current world, and how the demographics have changed, and the demands have evolved.

Procreation

It is in all living beings biological drive to reproduce and carry on the gene pool. even a bacteria knows how to do that. It is a natural order for a male and female organism to get together and create the next generation. It shouldn’t have been different for humans. But we choose to use our greater cognitive prowess against ourselves.

The Me, Myself, and I Generation

These days we are looking at a world where companies are out to sell us stuff, that makes us feel good, look good, and be good, all the goodness in it. There is a plethora of services and solutions that people can pay to make themselves feel good. People are earning enough to pamper themselves to kingdom come and high heavens.

We have reached a self-gratifying generation where people are not encouraged to do anything above and beyond what is needed to do. There is no need for anyone to do anything selfless like parenting. Why bother to raise children when I can have all the time for myself?

Is the world really that bad?

Our perception shapes our reality. Opinion might differs as a matter of a cup half full or half empty. The news agencies would certainly like to paint a sour picture as bad news certainly sells better than good news, which is the irony. Which it isn’t. Dramatics and violence always sells, and captures the attention of the masses.

The news and media agencies are cashing in on our Selective Negative Bias and our addiction towards it, somehow negative bias stirs our emotions, captures our attention, and jolts us to action. Poverty, War, Death and Destruction are all tools the media use to sell their existence. Try to find a newspaper that is totally dedicated to good news.

Too much of anything

We must always learn to strike a balance on how our reality is. Some might argue that the world we are in, the challenges we are facing, global warming, crime, war, COVID19 are all completely justifiable reasons for us to protect our future generations from, by not bringing them into this world.

The world we live in can never be completely bad, neither can it be complete good. There is always a mixture of both and we have to decipher the reality correctly to continue living. The virtue that our race is still here, means we are so far doing a decent job.

Our World, Their Reality

You boys might not have heard of Boyan Slat, but I’m sure you’ve heard of Greta Thunberg, and I’m sure their parents did have plans for them to reach their level of influence, but they did and rise above and beyond what their parents to achieve during their life time.

As your parents, I can only hope that the both of you turns out to become decent adults, never mind that you might not save the world, or clean up the ocean, but there is always a chance that you might raise children that do.

With every iteration of the human race, we raise people who brings good to this world. Of course, there are also maniacs out there, who took all the darkness and destroys the world, Adolf Hitler’s parents wouldn’t have had him if they’re gonna see the kind of death and destruction their son brought upon the world. Then again, that’s debatable, I certainly don’t hope to see you boys head that direction of notoriety.

Hope

I’m your dad, a guy, and a husband, and your mum, my wife told me more than once she wants to have my children. I can only guess that whatever I’m doing, gives her a safe haven, comfort and confidence for her to feel it is worth it to risk her life to bear children for me. That’s the logic part of me, perhaps it is the love between us, the bond we have for each other that is so intimate and deep, having kids of our own is a manifestation of that love.

I certainly hope that both of you boys grow up to become men who can provide for your women, make them feel safe, sheltered, protected and love, so that they can build a whole family with you with kids.