‘It’s hard being the elder brother’, you cried.
I had to punish the both of you since both of you cannot close all the house Windows before we leave, for Sentosa, for fun. Yes, I did tell Wayne to do it, yes, he skived, he went to the toilet to poop. You didn’t want to do it because it was ‘his job’. You both ended up quarreling. I gave the both of you a 45min delay, that means we will leave the house later, that means we will have ‘less fun’.
You didn’t see it as fair so you sulked. I told the both of you, use this 45 mins to sort your shit out, change your attitude, and make peace. You didn’t like the idea.
Wayne ended up on the Lofty watching TV. You sulked in the room, sobbing, about how unfair things has been.
You told me you’re always helping and clearing things for Wayne and he is always accusing you of this and that.
I told you, as the elder brother you will be clearing a lot of his shit. That is the job of an elder brother. Clear younger sibling shit.
You’re 13, secondary one, who is below you?
Your little brother, who is nine.
Another kid who is eleven.
Your cousins who are four and two. All these younger kids will all look up to you to clear shit.
More importantly, you get a 45 minute sentence, that is a lot of time to get a lot of shit done, instead you choose to cry and sulk, instead of being positive and constructive, you could have gotten one homework done, you could have helped us closed all the windows, then we can leave house before the 45 minutes is up.
But you took the sentence with spite and angst.
There are people out there wrongfully incarcerated, and they spent their time in jail doing the most positive things, Nelson Mandela is one fine example. They didn’t let ‘jail time’ stop them from doing the most positive things in their lives.
And now you took it to crying and your brother took it to watching TV. Obviously this affected you more than him, and he probably didn’t even know what is happening, or how unhappy he made you.
All he learned from his elder brother is ‘tit for tat’. You could have shown him that despite of what he did, you still clear his shit, and you do it because you both are brothers, and brothers are supposed to look out for each other, he will get that eventually, and he will clear your shit the next time you needed help. That’s what brothers do, cover for each other.
And you are 13, he is 9. You obviously knows more than he does, and can I talk to him the way I talked to you? Will he understand all this things?
Which is why you need to step up, your the older one, you have to do this, and do more. Because you can and you must.
You have to focus on the outcome again
The outcome is to get the house ready, so that we can all go out, if the windows’ not closed, and the rain comes, who is going to clean up the mess, when the rain splashes in?
And those windows don’t have a name on it, like Wayne’s window, Ian’s window, papa’s window. Someone has to close these windows, if not everyone will suffer.
So focus on the outcome, lets quickly get things done, irrespective of who does it, so that we can all leave the house and have fun.
And you guys are going to be brothers long after your parents are dead, lean on each other, count on each other, continue to clear each other’s shit. And you as the elder brother, don’t end up like my elder brother.